Hallmark and hershey’s commercials, jewelry and bubble baths, red hearts and glitter – yep, February is here ❤️ The talk of love and romance and all things mushy is everywhere. Now- let me be clear, it’s my favorite – I love red, lace, sparkles, sweet notes and sweeter treats. The month of February is also my birthday month, win/win! That being said, it got me thinking about all the awesome parts of my life that I cherish, but also require a lot of work. In fact, MOST of the things that I love most in my life did NOT come easily. They were not handed to me. They came after great effort on my part. It’s the “rain is necessary for the rainbow” and the “harder the battle, the sweeter the victory” mentality. Life isn’t always the “best day ever”.  Sometimes, we have days months that are a bit dark or filled with craziness ands expectations that simply can’t be met. It’s hard for us to imagine these conflicts/situations ever improving. But they do. They always do.

    It’s important for me to teach my children that hard work pays off. Effort is important. There is immense value in both patience and perseverance and working daily towards your goals. Our fast paced world is so hyper focused on instant, faster and immediate results. Expecting our children to have to participate in life – what a concept! The things that we contribute to bring us so much more happiness and satisfaction. I’d much rather see my children earn their smiles and dreams. They will feel ownership of their emotions – now that’s a reward! Her’s a quick list of things that I LOVE which require effort on my part…  The bold words are my non-favorite part 🙂

1. Cleaning the house – but it results in an organized and more peaceful home
2. Applying make up & doing my hair – but it allows me to look presentable and less like a homeless person
3. Changing closets our each season – but we then have weather appropriate clothes that fit us (hopefully)
4. Yard work & cutting the grass – but it’s super fun to come home to a beautiful yard
5. Disciplining the kids – having respectful, responsible kids is definitely worth it!
6. Grocery shopping/meal planning – feeding my family food that they love and not panicking at 5 because I don’t have a plan for dinner
7. Saving money –  having money set aside for vacations and fun stuff (like movies and the random Tuesday ice cream treats)
8. Doing cat pans – cuddling fat kitties and having something in your house that doesn’t talk back
9. Plans changing at the last minute – people knowing that they can depend on me (no matter what)
10. Sibling fights – watching them form a bond that will last forever 

Take a look at your life – what things/people/situations that you love and are always worth the work that they require?

Happy Valentine’s Day, friends! How sweet it is to be loved by you!

Gratitude (noun) 1. the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful – synonyms… thankfulness and appreciation.  See also – a requirement during the month of November. You know the drill,as you flip the calendar page from October, you put away your jack o lanterns and pull out your list of blessings. Inhale the sweet smell of cinnamon candles and enjoy the cute turkey memes on facebook, while listing each day what your heart is fond of and what makes your life full. I am all for gratitude, just not limiting its expression to one month a year. I challenge others to show their love, express their gratefulness and share their appreciation each and every day.

This is my chance to thank you. I love to write. I love to talk. I love to share. Having you all with me as I do these things has been just awesome. This second book has presented several  “opportunities” for me to switch gears, try plan B (C&D, too!) and focus on the positive. I have had several days of sweating and swearing, and then – being forced to bounce back – realized that things are still OK… maybe not on schedule, but OK. And sometimes, OK has to be ENOUGH. I cherish those in my life that have helped me to realize that even when my world is upside down, I have plenty of people around to help me put things back into place.

And here’s a little reminder. Being grateful is not ignoring the things in your life that are not going well. Showing gratitude is making the DECISION to focus on the good, despite the bad. We all have days (weeks, moths?) that seem disastrous and frustrating. Life lessons are taught that way – crappy as it seems at the time. Once we learn our lesson – whatever it is at the time – I pray that we share our wisdom with those who are still finding their way. Thank you again for sticking by me – the time to celebrate my second book is just DAYS away! Happy Thanksgiving ! Fill your heart with what is important and forget the rest.

When my love and I were discussing the floor plans of the home we would be building almost 15 years ago, my focus was on the kitchen. No, I am not a master chef, but I am someone that realizes the importance of this room in the house. People gravitate towards the kitchen – it’s where we are comfortable, it’s cozy and familiar. No matter how clean or decorated the rest of the house is on a special occasion – the majority of the crowd still ends up in the kitchen – talking, laughing and snacking. I have never regretted the extra time and planning that has gone into this space in our home. This particular rooms holds a treasure of memories for us.

Eating together as a family is important to us and a “no brainer” as a part of our daily schedule. With a husband that leaves at 6 am each work day, I envy those that have the opportunity to share breakfast together. Having dinner as our only family meal makes it that much more special and necessary for me. Now – I am not a fantastic cook. I’m amazed by people that take a bite of a meal and say “This needs …. name an ingredient”.  If I like something, the best I can offer is “This needs – to get in my belly!”.  It’s all good. Now that the kids are getting older, they can make a certain meal themselves if they are craving it. Meeting around the table at the end of the day is a casual way for us to stay connected and informed. We discuss schedules, conflicts, high points and low points of the day, and we laugh – a lot. If we have to eat a meal separately, it just doesn’t feel right – and I am having to adjust our schedules quite a bit as these kids age and their responsibilities hinder them all being home at the same time. The kitchen makes me think of family because it truly is the room where we are all together the most.

Other than eating, the kitchen represents a place of action. Calls are made, plans are confirmed, the calendar is updated. Homework is completed and projects are finished. The table is usually piled with mail, school fliers, newspapers and magazines waiting to be read. The wood is scratched on the table and if you look closely there are marks from permanent pens and nail polish spills as well. We have a wall that is specified as “command central”. There are 2 oversized cork boards and a hanging file system which we use to organize the chaos created by a family of six. Once again, the kitchen proves essential in allowing this family to succeed. It provides us room to work together – whether  menu planning, preparing Christmas cards, or confirming the details of our next family trip. It is also a space that we enjoy as individuals – blogging, drawing or paying bills and finishing assignments. Win/win.

The walls are painted a soft green and are decorated with memories – pictures, quotes and items we treasure. In one corner, we have a spot to sit and view the backyard – an area coveted by our lazy kitties.  Above it, we have the quote painted “A happy family is but an earlier heaven”. I believe this statement with my whole heart.  Our refrigerator is covered with magnets that say things like  “My house was clean last week, sorry you missed it”, and “It’s better to have God approve than the world applaud”.  Old school pictures and notes from friends and other things that I hope will make us reflect or smile are also hung up for us to see daily. There is typically a candle lit – my favorite scents are vanilla and cinnamon, but Steve hates to find out that the yummy smell is actually a candle and not a sweet treat for him to enjoy. It is one of my favorite places to be, although it is also the fastest to become a disaster. Clearing the table and counter, doing the dishes and scrubbing the sink and microwave are chores that are forever needing done, yet despised by all. The joy. Regardless- this is the room we always end up in. Together. Did I mention that together is my favorite place to be?

Let’s be honest, I’m pretty sure we have all experienced FOMO in one form or another. If you have not yet been introduced to this acronym, FOMO stands for “fear of missing out”, and affects some of us more than others. If you are questioning whether or not you are dealing with FOMO currently, or have in the past, here are a few defining aspects of the “disorder”…

• You find it difficult to commit to an event for fear that something “better” will come along and you’ll miss it
• You cancel plans if you feel like a more enticing option has popped up
• You feel left out if anyone you have EVER MET fails to invite you to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING
• You stalk Facebook constantly to see what others are doing
• You agree to attend events that don’t interest you simply because “everyone” else is going

In a house with 3 teenagers and an active 10 year old, FOMO can be a bit of a monster. We all have to pick and choose our schedules and activities – and typically, as life would have it – we choose one thing and later wonder if it was the right decision. There is something to be said for integrity in this world that we live in. 2016 hasn’t given us a whole lot of examples in being true to your word. Regardless, in our house, giving your word means a lot and you will be held accountable if you fail to follow through with a promise or commitment.

It’s human nature to want to feel connected. To feel like you are wanted and loved and belong where you are – human nature in its purest form. This isn’t something that anyone has to apologize for or be embarrassed about. The problem comes when we are unable to make eye contact at a party because we are forever searching to see if there is something more fun going on. It rears its ugly head when we change plans at the last minute and leave a friend hanging or paying for an event that we had originally planned to attend. It is an issue when the fear takes hold of our decision making process and won’t let go. It’s out of control  when we lose the ability to live happily in the land of here and now and instead are trapped in the “what did I miss?” abyss.

Everyday has abundant opportunities to create memories for ourselves, our friends, and our families.  If we waste our time comparing what memories everyone else is making, or judging who had the BEST time last night, we are truly missing out. Summer schedules create a steady supply of FOMO situations. Graduation parties, weddings, family reunions and neighborhood cook outs are frequently happening on the same day, at virtually the same time. We must force ourselves to decide – and then be ALL IN with that decision.  Be fully present wherever you have chosen to be. Make eye contact. Laugh loudly. Eat all the food. Allow yourself to enjoy each moment as it happens and then again later as you treasure each memory.

Let’s talk about how I handle unexpected situations. And, we’re not talking about fun ones, like surprise parties  that include cake, wine and lots of friends. We’re talking about your 13 year old clomping down the stairs (while wearing flip flops) during a discussion with her younger sister and missing the last step and rolling her ankle. Good times. And this happens as we are preparing to leave for the pool. Instead, we will have an equally exciting (sarcasm) trip to the ER. Joy.

If we’re being honest, my first response was not all hearts and flowers. It was not nice or empathetic. I may have been 1) distracted, trying to sort 6 loads of laundry before we left  2) ticked at the girls because I thought they were fighting – they weren’t  3) wondering if the crying and all around agony was a bit over played. After 30 minutes of ice, elevation and not being able to not put any weight on it, off we went to the hospital. Leaving behind the others, standing at the door wearing swimsuits and concerned/disappointed looks on their faces.

We walked into the cool ER, leaving the sunny, 85 degree day behind us outside, and found a seat. Thankfully, there were only 2 people ahead of us. I praised the teen for choosing a Monday at noon to to hurt herself – apparently a slow time in the ER. Small victories.  They took us back and jacked her poor ankle around while taking x-rays. She was a trooper and we joked with the nurse and tried to make the best of this crappy situation. She spent the majority of her wait taking crazy pictures of herself via snapchat – seeing your cute face framed inside a slice of bread of sporting a mustache and beard can truly help to pass the time – even when you are mad at the world.

After 30 more minutes, the Dr. walked  in and told her it was not broken, only sprained. He told us to keep it wrapped, iced and elevated for the next 48 hours and then begin using it again. We both sighed with relief as we had already talked about how a cast on her foot would REALLY change the rest of the plans for the summer. We had started throwing a pity party where the main activity was crossing fun activities and events off of our calendar. We do realize that healing may take awhile, but we are choosing to be optimistic and hope that within a month (in time for our family summer trip) she is back to “normal” – at least enough to not have to cancel plans. We shall see. Please cross your fingers (and anything else cross able) for us 🙂

*NOTE*  This was written on July 11th. The patient is progressing well! She is walking normally without crutches and with a brace on her ankle. Although cross country practices started last week, she is choosing to take it slow and walk 2 miles a day with her mom instead for a few more weeks before forcing that injured ankle to run. Continued prayers for healing are appreciated!

        I think I am in the majority when I say that one thing I always wish I had more of is motivation. My “to do” list is never lacking, but the time and effort it requires makes me sigh – and reach for another cup of coffee. Sometimes I consider adding “drink coffee” onto my list so that I can ensure at least one thing actually gets accomplished! I am a busy bee, I like to have things to do, and if I find myself without plans, it’s unusually because I have forgotten that I had something to do. But having motivation is different than being busy. Being lazy and being unmotivated are not one and the same. I have things that I require motivation for me to do – not just available time – scrapbooking, cleaning/organizing closets and rooms, writing blog posts (!) and exercising – just to list a few. Having the right mindset is required for these activities and if I’m not “all in”, it’s sort of not worth doing it – to me, at least.

After thinking about it and contemplating why this motivation issue is such a continuing pain in my rear, I have come up with a few things that always motivate me. In figuring out what DOES motivate me, I hope it will allow me to get my rear in gear in times of below average motivation levels. {On a side note – I never really expected to write a blog post that used the word rear 3 times in one paragraph!}

• Deadlines
• Frustration
• Company
• Results {duh}

I love a deadline – a date on the calendar – expectations to be met. I love having to plan out my time and effort. It totally helps me to achieve a goal if I know it has to be done in a certain time frame. Clean the house? Ummmmm, ok. Guests coming over — buckle down and pull it together! There’s work to be done – crack that whip!!! I always get things done if I know others are waiting or depending on me.

 

If something makes me crazy – I have the strong desire to fix it or change it enough to better suit me.  Frustration is key in creating the energy I need to make a difference. I can usually find a way to make a change if a situation or relationship has me totally flustered. Being irritated with the way a room appears, or  clothes fit (thank you, ice cream) can always usually light a fire under me to get busy and do something to ease the negativity of the situation.

 

It’s common knowledge that misery loves company.  In this case – company (others working toward the same cause or end result) is always helpful. Clean the garage alone – cue the scary movie music… I couldn’t dread it more. But give me a few kids to help out and a fun soundtrack in the background, makes all the  difference. Many hands make light the work, and knowing that I will have assistance in achieving my goal will not only motivate me – it may even make me WANT to do it … Crazy, right?!

 

And the obvious motivator – results. Knowing that a situation or relationship will improve is the biggest motivator for me. Having a closet that is organized and doesn’t make my heart palpitate when I walk into it SHOULD be reason enough to clean it out. If this were true, I’d have done it already. Wait – I have done it before – maybe my real issue is that I’m a slob … We may investigate this option in a future blog post. Anywho – being rewarded with a smaller waist, cleaner kitchen or scrapbook full of memories is definitely great motivation.

 

I think, in the end, that my level of motivation is probably relatively normal. When things need to be done – they get done. Perfectionism is sometimes a thorn in my side and stops me from starting a project in fear that it may not be “good enough”when it’s finished. I need to keep my expectations in check before starting a project – I know that is a good start at least! Please share what motivates YOU – I get by with a little help from my friends!