For the second time in 3 years, I lost my voice. And when I share that I lost my voice, I mean truly whispers and squeaks were all I had to offer. Resulting from a sinus infection, once I got my trusty ole Zpack on board, I was feeling pretty healthy and continued to work and take part of my normal activities. But geez, without a voice, life got tough – things took longer and frustration set in quickly.
As a preschool teacher – this made my teaching day a bit challenging. Imagine the amount of noise that a room with seventeen three year olds can create, and then add in a teacher that sounds like Minnie Mouse – it was an EXPERIENCE. My sweet little girls showed great compassion and doted on me lovingly. My cutie little boys repeatedly asked me “Why are you talking to me like that?” and “What is wrong with you?”. Teaching three year olds, I work frequently with those that have communication delays. Their expressive language is still developing and they often find themselves unable to speak their minds or make their points effectively. This results in frustration and eventual behavioral issues at times – which I can easily understand after dealing with similar situations recently. Attempting over and over to be understood while not having your needs met is exasperating. It has opened my eyes to the extra patience that I should use as I try to determine the needs of my little ones. It can be exhausting to repeatedly try to communicate a thought without success. I will for sure keep this in mind the next time I find a young one struggling to express his needs.
As I set out to communicate without using my voice, I was forced to try other ways to be “heard”. I found myself using extremely animated facial expressions – wide eyes, raised eyebrows – I’m fairly certain that I looked like a crazy lady, but I also feel that it was truly helpful as I tried to convey emotions without words. I also snapped my fingers, clapped my hands, and knocked on the tables to attract the children’s attention. Turning off the lights was a trick that I already used in order to alert the children to a transition, so that was nice to use since it did not involve my voice. I also found myself seriously considering the necessity to talk or respond at any given moment. Quite often, it was just easier if I just stayed quiet- not making a difference if I had shared my opinion or not. Sometimes we talk simply to fill the silence – but silence isn’t so bad – really, it isn’t.
As my body heals and my voice returns, I’m left with the lessons that I was taught through this experience. Communication is so very important, but in general, we can all afford to be more patient with each other as we try to express ourselves. We all want one thing – to be heard. It’s worth the extra thought regarding word choice and tone of voice as we attempt to share our thoughts and ideas. On the other hand, listening in order to truly hear someone’s concerns is equally important in order to effectively communicate. It’s definitely not as easy as it looks, but it’s worth it when we feel like we are seen, heard and understood. Can you hear me now ?
The day arrived, and we met at the tattoo shop after work. After discussing the image at length via text, other than signing the required papers before the tattoos, there wasn’t a lot of prep to be done. We all laughed when I asked a few questions regarding the paperwork I was signing, and the tattoo artist admitted that “Most people don’t even read that, they just sign it !”. Well, not this girl! After learning about the care of our new tattoos, we both decided that I’d go first. I knew that once we started the process, I would pick out something to focus on and use my Lamaze breathing to get me through it. For me, when I’m in a new, stressful, or painful situation, it’s easier if I don’t talk. I was happy to find that it wasn’t as painful as I had expected. After having four babies and several kidney stones, this was a piece of cake – and yes, I fully realize that my tattoo is teeny tiny! Hannah preferred for me to chat her up as she got her tattoo, my stories and laughter helping to distract her, but she was also surprised how little it hurt. We did it!!!
How often do we critique ourselves, or is it just me? Questioning our choices, performances, or motivation is a pretty common phenomenon. We are, I’ve heard, our own worst critic. I try my best to be an encourager – to point out the good in others, to praise when things are done well, to give thanks when I am grateful. But I don’t typically do the same for myself – and you might not, either. After choosing intentional as my word of the year for 2023, I am becoming more aware of my own self talk, and to be honest, I’m kind of a meanie. I often dwell on mistakes or recall situations that could’ve been handled differently. I’m now focusing more on what has gone well, what I’m proud of, and what I’d like to see continue. As I grow in this direction, I saw a writing prompt that looked helpful “Name three personality traits that you are proud of”. Making myself look for positive attributes of my personality was just what I needed – and I assume you need it, too! I hope you will join me and at the very least make a list of personality traits that make you proud. We all need reminders of the great job we are doing as we push through this crazy thing called life!
Each year, I think long and hard about what my word of the year should be. I was “this close” to repeating my word from 2022 – worthy – something I had never done in my previous eleven years of choosing a word. The word worthy brought me so many lessons, and I was hesitant to move on without it. Nonetheless, I poured over lists of potential words until one made me stop in my tracks – intentional. The dictionary defines intentional as an adjective, meaning “done on purpose; deliberate”. Now, as a TYPE A personality, I feel that most of what I do in life is thought out, planned and on purpose. But was I living an intentional life? It appears I will be finding this out in 2023.
The past few years have changed many things, including expectations that we all had for our every day lives. Talk was rampant about the “new normal” which I refuse to accept in any way, shape, or form. Control was taken away regarding our school hours, work locations, and shopping options. Weeklong to the familiar, unless we chose to let it go, finally excepting that are all the ways may not have been the best for us. As we begin a new calendar year, I will yet again choose a word to reflect on for the next 12 months. This process has served me well, and I am sharing my word with you in hopes of perhaps spreading some hope in a challenging time for all of us.
Have you ever devoted years (I’m talking more than 20) to a cause, person, or goal, and then wept when success was at hand? We experienced sacrifice, fatigue, and exasperation as we did our best to navigate through years of uncertainty Finally, as we see the culmination of our efforts, we strongly desire to sneak off to our bedroom and cry. Welcome to parenting. Parenting: a job given by God to raise independent humans that will in someway change the world. From the day that babe is first placed in our arms, we are working full-time to ensure that someday this tiny one can fend for himself, going about his daily tasks without a care in the world, without the help of his mom. The nerve.
I have always loved walking. For me, more than anything, walking is a way for me to de-stress and clear my mind. It was a saving grace, that when life in general was cancelled at the start of the pandemic, my walking could continue. In fact, going outside each day and walking in my neighborhood and the surrounding area gave me something to look forward to (and also an excuse to break out of my house!). On average, my walks are between 2 and 5 miles. Each night before bed, knowing that I will be walking the next day, I make sure to charge my phone, my Apple Watch, and my ear buds. I would definitely say that walking has become part of my weekly routine.
word love 