2025 packed quite a punch, both good and bad, and our heads are still spinning a bit. A death in the family, a divorce, 2 weddings, 2 moves, a job change and empty nest. Our immediate and extended family was kept on its’ toes for 12 months straight and we hope to catch our breath in the new year. As the holidays approached this year, I was unsure what to expect, but I knew I wanted it to be special. Whether we were continuing with traditions of old or starting new ones, I prayed that the memory making would continue- and it did!
This year, the changes began in November, when for the first time we did not have all 4 children around the table. As sad as I was about it, my heart was at peace knowing that my daughter was not alone, but instead being loved up by her new family and getting to show off her new digs in Georgia to her in laws. We instead kept track of each other, as we have since her move in August by texts, calls, letters and facetimes. Our encouragement took on different forms but was always there and she knew it. The tears flowed at times, but the excitement grew as well, knowing she would be home in December!
December arrived and we did most of what we have always done – we attended tree lightings, Christkindl markets, the lights at the zoo and this year I also was blessed to attend an Advent Tea at my school. We changed the dates of several events, but they were still special and helped to bring the Fa La La to a month that attempts to race right past us. Our annual Extended family party that has historically been held the week before Christmas (to insure that all of my college kids were home to celebrate) was changed to December 27th so that our Georgia peaches could be in town to enjoy the family as well. This once again proved that it is not the date on the calendar but the people surrounding you that brings the magic.
As different as this season has been- the nostalgia still remained strong. The same chocolate treats were made and devoured on our dessert trays, the same Christmas cactus was praised as she miraculously bloomed for the holiday as if she had a calendar hidden somewhere, and the same songs made me cry on Christmas Eve. I still dreaded the clean up after it was all over, and still want to keep my tree up until February so I can enjoy her soft light in an otherwise dark room. I’m so very grateful for a season of change that was also filled with the joy of old times. I pray that 2026 brings the same type of balance.
We said a difficult good bye last week. We knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier. It was time, and we knew it was for the best. It was time to trade in the mini van and get a smaller vehicle. I mean we have dealt with so much change the last few months, why not?
We purchased our first mini van when we only had one child and he was around one. I remember him in a carseat as we test drove several vehicles and dreamed of the day when every seat would be filled. That happened – we had 3 more children and were often happily transporting their friends as well. It was a noisy crew and the closest I will ever come to being a bus driver, and I miss it already. We did our best to keep it clean, but the obvious french fries and hair ties were often found in between seats, drink spills and marker swipes were inevitable as well. We have had 3 mini vans in the last 26 years and they have served us well.
Many might think that trading in a vehicle is a simple, emotionless process – but I would disagree. Our mini van was named Holly, because who doesn’t name their cars (or is it only us?!). She has SEEN some things. From Christmas lights tours to college move ins, Florida road trips to transporting wedding decor for 2 of our daughters. All 4 of our children learned to drive in this Honda Odyssey, and she is not a little girl – if they could navigate the roads in her, they were good to go! She took all 4 of their belongings to college for us. On the roads that she traveled , she has heard long stories, loud laughter and angry disputes. She saw the children grow from grade school silly gooses to beautiful brides and home owning men. Saying goodbye to this van meant saying goodbye to the possibility of ever driving that many kids around again. As I said, she has witnessed our family evolve, and we are grateful for her – she was reliable and always ready for the next adventure.
I am happy with my new car – a maroon Chevy Trax that I have named Tiny. In comparison, she has some fun bells and whistles not found on Holly and she is a breeze to park in smaller spots. I have hung up my tried and true air freshener that is a photo of our dog Ruby, and purchased new gum and mints to enjoy on the road. She has already gone to the lake with us and driven through her first rain storm – we are making new memories for sure! All in all, this is just an appreciation post for having dependable vehicles and enjoying the big and little aspects of life.
*And lastly, and more importantly, what is the name of YOUR vehicle?!?!?
“Change is the only constant in life” – Heraclitus
I’ll be the first to admit that change has never been my favorite. I love consistency, the familiar. I love to know what is coming so that I can be prepared. I love to know that I’ve handled something successfully before and can (hopefully) do it yet again. But in my almost 29 years of being a wife and over 26 years of parenting, I have found that change is one of the most common parts of life. If our family manages to do something twice in a row without any differences in the experience – call the presses! I have learned to be flexible in my approach and it has definitely benefited all of us. That being said, our family has a lot of changes coming in the next year. Am I ready? Can one ever really be “ready”?!
We have two daughters that will be getting married in 2025 -one in June and one in October. We are having fun planning two very different events and it’s been exciting to say the least. But as we schedule the Bridal Shower and pick out centerpieces for the big day, reality settles in. These two daughters will not be coming “home” for Christmas next year. Yes, they will visit for hours at a time, but they won’t be living at home anymore. This Christmas, for several reasons, was the “last” as we know it, since next year only one of our four children will actually wake up at our house next year on Christmas morning. Santa will only have one stocking to fill, as new spouses will now have that responsibility. We will have to find a new time to open presents together, since the time we have always done this in the past no longer works. We will have to consult the schedules of two more families in addition to the 9 schedules we are currently working around to fit everything in. We will no longer have the entire family at every event. Things are changing and we will need to be open to it. “But, we’ve always done it that way!” must not be uttered. The first few holidays will be a learning experience for sure.
Although it does make me a bit anxious, I am also excited to see the new traditions we will undoubtedly create. They will not be REQUIRED to happen on December 24th or 25th. They can change time and location from year to year. We can have a full meal, or just drinks and desserts. We can exchange with everyone or draw names. We can wear our fanciest holiday clothes or our pajamas. The main idea is that these changes are discussed and agreed upon by the majority. Everyone has an opinion and expectations and it’s necessary to feel heard and understood. No, not everyone will get their way. No, not everyone will be happy with the date chosen or restaurant we are meeting at, or time the event will begin. But we all must understand that the holidays are for being TOGETHER and that means flexibility and possibly having pasta instead of tacos and buying a White Elephant gift instead of exchanging gift cards. Hugging your Mom and drinking a Cranberry Margarita while reminiscing about the time the cats knocked the tree down – now THAT’S CHRISTMAS. I pray that as each holiday arrives we are together, healthy and happy – that’s my wish for my family and yours – even with all of the changes!
Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas festivities begin before the turkey is digested (if it hasn’t started before that!). A friend asked me last year for a list of activities that might be fun for her family. I thought I’d share my list with all of you. Remember, it’s not fun if it’s forced, so only choose to do what looks awesome to you and your family. It truly is the MOST wonderful time of the year 🙂
Look at holiday lights together – Walk through your neighborhood or jump in your car and tour around town … have some hot chocolate too (never hurts).
Attend a tree lighting – They are everywhere (library, shopping centers, town halls) the first week of December – usually free and some have carolers and other festive fun included.
Go see a Nutcracker performance – There’s nothing like this play to get you in the spirit- and many local dance schools put this particular show on during December.
Attend a Holiday Concert – Ask your local elementary, Jr. High or High School about the date of their shows – nothing better (and free!).
Kristkringl Markets – A German tradition that is becoming popular here (finally!). Outdoor markets that offer food, crafts and other merchandise for sale and often have lights and firepits and all kinds of fa, la, la related activities.
Frankenmuth – Take a short road trip up north and visit the cutest German inspired town – and don’t forget to go to Bronner’s – the biggest Christmas shop around, Zender’s, the yummiest restaurant in town, and all the cutesy shops in town.
Cookie decorating – Go old school and bake up a bunch of sugar cookies and prepare to be cleaning up sprinkles and frosting for an hour after the event (but it’s ALWAYS worth it!).
Visit the Christmas Story House in Cleveland – Time for another road trip – and you will LOVE the opportunity to tour the house and museum of the infamous movie. Pictures we took while there – Steve under the sink where Randy used to hide, and me on the phone calling about the bad word that Ralphie just said
Ornament making – choose a simple design from the TRILLION available on Pinterest and order supplies from Amazon and either have friends over or beg your family to stick around and join you for some hot gluing fun (add food and drinks for good measure!).
Visit a tree farm – Even if you have a fake tree at home, tree farms are awesome to visit. They often have fun weekends planned that include sleigh rides and pictures with Santa, too!
Movie marathon – Block off an entire day in December, ask each family member their favorite holiday movie and get ready to partake in some couch potato heaven as you watch EVERY SINGLE. MOVIE. Pjs are required and friends can be invited as well, (and provide food – lots and lots of food!).
Baking Day – Choose a few desserts (fudge, cookies, candies) and spend the day in the kitchen together creating trays or boxes or baggies of sweets for loved ones on your list!
Tree decorating party – What might seem like a chore when you have so many other things begging for your attention can be turned into fun if you have a bunch of friends/family included and have everyone bring a snack to share. It’s awesome to reminisce over the ornaments and share their meanings while getting this task done – you’ll have a blast!
Ice skating – Many towns are now offering seasonal outdoor ice skating. They have lights hung up and pump in music, and you forget how much pain you’ll be in tomorrow as you inch your way around the rink laughing and swearing you’ll never do this again … unless you actually are good at it – then do some tricks for everyone and enjoy the applause!
Create a hot chocolate bar – throw together a basket of some hot chocolate packets and make sure to have some marshmallows, peppermint sticks, sprinkles and spray whip in the fridge – we aren’t amateurs, here….
Tour the Manor House – Enjoy the decorations that change every year in this beautiful historical home- and it’s free!
Go to the Lights at the Zoo – Grab your Zoo Membership or take out a small loan before heading to our amazing zoo for their lights display. They have an awesome tree lighting ceremony in November and the weather is typically pretty mild – a great way to begin your holiday season!
Live Nativity Scenes – Many churches offer these and it’s a neat reminder about what this season is all about
Gingerbread house decorating – Grab a pre-made one for goodness sakes, and have fun decorating it – make it more fun for teens and their friends by making it a contest with prizes for the craziest, most colorful, etc… house.
Attend craft shows – Support some local crafters and hit those craft shows that start popping up in November – shop local and cross people off of your gift list – win/win!
MIS drive through light experience – Stay in your car and drive through this awesome display of lights – a fun alternative to driving around your own neighborhood!
Bedford Blizzardfest – Enjoy some festive fun sponsored by our local businesses – I hope they can continue this awesome event!
Holiday parades – Most towns offer a holiday parade that is fun and free and a great way to get outside and enjoy the start of the season.
Host a Wrap & Write – I started a tradition years ago that my friends would all come over and bring their gifts and a dish to pass, and we would wrap gifts together all night (lots of laughter and drinks included). We all got to catch up and see what we bought for our kids, husbands, etc…. It’s beyond fun and everyone leaves feeling so accomplished and happy! Some friends would bring their Christmas cards to address or a holiday craft they were working on – it was the best; I haven’t done it in years – may have to start it back up!
Make holiday shrinky dinks – Yes – they are still a thing! Check out Amazon (of course!) and enjoy a night of old school fun creating and baking those amazing plastic do dads!
Visit Castle Noel – Another road trip, this one to Medina, Ohio. I haven’t been yet- but it’s on my list – find them on Facebook – listed as “America’s largest year-round indoor Christmas Entertainment Attraction” (Reservations required). Yes, please!
Name that tune – Christmas Version – Free and fun and something you can do with little to no preparation. Grab your phone and everyone chooses a list of 10 holiday songs, create a playlist and see how fast you can recognize them. ***Bonus points… who sings it?!***
Polar express – Local train stations are now “hosting” the Polar Express train as it stops in towns across the country. I have not done this yet either, but I think it would be fun with children to see it arrive all lit up – and of course there are options to ride it as well
Tobaggon Run at Pokagon State Park – Head to Indiana and enjoy their toboggan run. We haven’t gone yet but it sounds like a super fun outdoor winter activity!
Caroling – Feeling brave? Grab a group of people, print out a few Christmas songs, and head out to bring some (off-key?) holiday cheer to your neighbor’s doorstep!
As long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a wife and a Mom. I’ve always loved the idea of creating a space that was welcoming to others. As a newlywed, I had so much fun setting up our home and establishing traditions with my new husband. Within a few years, our home began to fill with children – four children in almost exactly seven years. I had daily opportunities as a stay at home Mom to set the tone and schedule while creating an environment that helped to make my children feel loved and secure, and that my husband wanted to return to after work. Now, despite my best efforts, this didn’t always work out, and by evening I was counting down the minutes until bedtime and the chance to try again in the morning. Lost retainers, broken washing machines and sickness can easily throw a wrench into any thought of a calm and peaceful household. And that’s life, some of our best memories are from times in the past when things were a bit out of control. Home was still a place that we all felt comfortable and knew we could be ourselves.
We never really had a chore system in which each child had designated chores. I basically just voiced what needed attention and someone took care of it. Sometimes after me mentioning it 37 times, sometimes immediately. We were a typical family that found a rhythm of order among the clutter and chaos of life and knew what had to be done each day, even if we didn’t want to do it. The children grew and realized that our house was not cleaned by fairies in the middle of the night as they slept. They began to take ownership and responsibility for their environment and knew they wouldn’t be allowed to ask a friend over if their space looked like “a pit” as I used to say. They looked forward to inviting friend to sleep over and to having cook outs with family.
Time passed and these crazy kids each eventually headed away to college. Some stayed close and some went a bit farther, but regardless of their new location, they were no longer “home”. Their rooms were empty, no one sat at their chairs during dinner, and their absence was felt by all of us, including the pets. When our oldest left for college, I had the idea of creating a keepsake for him that would remind him of home and the fact that he could always return – and we’d be there with open arms. I found a company that made bracelets with any coordinates engraved in them. I added the coordinates of our home address as a reminder that he had a home full of people that loved him. Each child that left got a similar bracelet, and our youngest birdie just left the nest last week and received her bracelet on move in day.
Our home is much quieter these days. But I know we will continue filling it with love and laughter for many years to come. It’s difficult to keep a house running and presentable with a family of six (or a family of any size, for that matter). There were many days when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel. But I am so glad that I focused on our family and the times that we shared together under one roof – the good times and the bad, because we needed both to create the bonds that now exist. I pray that our children will also make their home life a priority and cherish the time they spend in their future homes as well.
The month of November has always been a favorite of mine. Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday and as an adult, the month became even more amazing as we welcomed two of our four babies home, one on the 6th and one on the 16th! My love language is words of affirmation, so gratitude has always been on the top of my list of importance. My Mom set the precedent by making sure we wrote thank you notes for any and all gifts we received as children. I have done the same with my own children and have been so saddened to see that writing thank you notes (for many – not all) is becoming a lost art. Showing gratitude is so very important to me, as I understand with my whole heart the value in being thanked for an item, your time, or your involvement in a situation. I have yet to meet a person that would not appreciate being acknowledged, seen and known for what they have done. Not to say that being thanked should be the reason for doing a good deed, but it surely can bring a smile. November is a monthly reminder for me to send a quick text, or card to mention my thankfulness.
Traditions are big in our house. They help to keep our family close, create memories, and build excitement for each holiday. Knowing what to expect brings security and if it’s a fun thing we are expecting, well, you know, even better! Each Thanksgiving, our extended family meets at my sister’s for breakfast. We all arrive around 9:30 AM, pour some coffee and begin our holiday together. When the kids were little, the tv would be on and we’d watch the parade and scream with delight when they saw the Clifford balloon, or Hello Kitty made an appearance . My Mom started the tradition when they were babies of getting each of them a book on Thanksgiving. As they grew, they were even able to request a certain title and were always thrilled to receive it that morning – several years those chapter books were started before we even left Aunt Tonya’s house! The picture books they received as tiny turkeys were all kept together and brought out every year and read during the months of November . Most of the books were written about the topics of the season of Fall, the idea of thankfulness or the holiday of Thanksgiving. I now read many of those books to my preschool class each November and they are still big hits! I look forward to continuing this tradition once my children have children of their own.
After breakfast, we typically head home to digest and take a nap or watch our first holiday movie of the season. Later in the day, we would head to my In laws for more food and family time. At this point, we are now gathering at my Sister in Laws and it’s different but just as wonderful. That’s an important thing to remember about traditions, quite often they don’t last forever. Sometimes it’s simply impossible to continue them (a restaurant closes or part of the family moves 3 states away). Often, the interests of the group change as they age and it is just not fun or eagerly anticipated any longer. Perhaps an event is too expensive to attend at this point. There are many reasons why plans could change after being set for years and years. And that’s OK. One of the worst parts of having a tradition is not realizing that it’s time for it to end. The coolest part – you can find something new to do together instead!
The day after Thanksgiving is also a special time for our family. This basically marks the start of the Christmas season for us. When the children were younger, they would go to my Mom’s house that Friday and help her decorate, bringing up the boxes from the basement, setting up her nativity scene and making a batch of cookies. My current college age children continue to stop by and make sure that she doesn’t need help on this day. After decorating/shopping/visiting friends all day, we head to our local zoo for their annual amazing lights display. Being November, we never know what the weather will bring. We have walked through the zoo enjoying 60 degree conditions and raced through in the rain. The years that it has snowed during our visits always made us extra happy! We then finish the night with a delicious dinner at Spaghetti Wharehouse.
As the children have aged and now have significant others who also have family traditions, it has become increasingly difficult to keep a few of our traditions going – and again, it’s OK. If we want something to continue, we will find a way by changing the time, day or location. But discussions are already happening that have suggested new ideas for us to consider. In the end, I am blessed to have family that understand the importance of time together and the joy it brings my heart.
Blessings to you and your family as you acknowledge the joy and love in your life today and everyday!
I absolutely love the house that we call home. We chose to build our house and moved in over 21 years ago – with only two children at the time. We have since added two more children, said hello and good bye to several well loved pets, changed vehicles, jobs and hairstyles. We have grown, celebrated, mourned and hoped in this home. Our neighbors have become friends, I have a walking route I use daily, a grocery store and favorite restaurant nearby and family is within a short drive. I have always loved decorating each room for each season and holiday, creating memories with our children along the way. Time spent together is treasure here, and I always breathe a sigh of relief when I walk in the door.
I recently saw an article on self care that spoke on the topic of having a special spot for ourselves. I thought about it for about thirty seconds and knew where mine was right away. It’s actually the first room on the left as you enter our home. As you arrive through the front door, you can see the first wall of this room – with the letters H O M E on the wall. Another sign reads “Best Family (in the history of ) Ever. It’s a “den” of sorts, that I have claimed as my spot. In it sits a comfy beige sofa in between 2 dark brown end tables. Each table holds a lamp and a plant 🙂 A wax melter sits on the table closest to the window, and it is always on heating the scents of the current season – today’s scent is cinnamon maple. There is a coffee table that has a lower shelf crammed with books, bibles, journals and more. On the top of the table sits a plump pumpkin that I bought over 25 years ago when I worked at Hallmark. On the wall there is a shelf from Ikea that holds dozens of scrapbooks and photo albums. Twenty eight years of pictures and memories on those shelves. On the opposite wall is a corner shelf that holds skeins of yarn and my knitting looms and supplies. The bottom shelf is where I stack the hats that I knit and donate. Under the window is a soft brown bench that holds – you guessed it – more books, plants and hats waiting to be donated. Daily, our cat Ron sits on this bench, snacks on the plant and watches the birdies that sit on the tree in our yard just a few feet away. There is a basket filled to the top with soft blankets and pillows, unless it is Christmas season. During that time, I place a miniature tree covered with white twinkly lights, causing me to love this space even more. The light pours into this room through the Northern windows, and I rarely have to turn on the lamps, but when I do, the room feels extra cozy and inviting. I sit on the end of the couch by the window and read, write or knit. On the couch next to me, Ruby buries her nose in her “softer than anything I’ve ever felt in my life” dog bed. When I’m on the couch, I can see both outside into the neighborhood, and inside the first story of our home and anyone going up or down the stairs. It truly is my favorite room in the house.
Do you have a room in your house that makes you extra happy? A room that you retreat to when you need to be productive, or just sit for a minute without interruption? I truly think we all deserve a spot like this, and I’m so grateful for mine. Let me know where you go in your home, and why it’s extra special to you!
I love a good celebration. I think it’s super fun to decorate, find coordinating napkins, bake related food treats, and more. But this year – 2 special days for our family fall on the same calendar date! Wednesday is February 14th, both Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. A 2fer! I am personally thrilled that this day is being shared by two occasions that our family finds so valuable. If you think about it, these two special days have some very similar qualities – the importance of both love and sacrifice.
I know that Valentine’s Day has a bad reputation – often referred to as the “Hallmark Holiday”. There is history of this holiday of which many are unaware. St. Valentine lived in Rome, Italy in the 200’s. He was a Catholic Priest that secretly married Christians and otherwise helped others that were persecuted in other ways. He was arrested and imprisoned for doing these good deeds. He focused on love and helping those that needed assistance. In my mind, I think it’s important EVERY DAY of the year to focus on the good and open our eyes to the needs around us. Why not designate a special day each year to expressing our love and admiration to those who are important to us? Nope, I don’t believe it’s necessary to purchase a diamond or roses, or big boxes of rich, sweet chocolate – but who am I to turn such gifts down? Not a penny needs to be spent – words are free, written word is even better . Write down your words of admiration, your thoughts of devotion, your gratefulness – then it can be read over and over, and enjoyed forever. I have alwaysloved the concept of Valentine’s Day and the Saint himself, I even went so far as to choose him as my Saint for my Confirmation! Every year in our house, we have a “Heart Hunt” for the kids – which I started when they were teenies. I place clues in the shape of hearts around the house and they search for the final clue that leads them to a small gift or gift for each of them. It continues to be a tradition that they enjoy each year. We also have tiny mailboxes that we put out in February each year. Many years ago they were decorated by each child and are used to collect notes from all of us. Notes that remind us why we are loved, admired and appreciated. When a new note is placed in the mailbox, the little flag is raised – creating quite a bit of excitement for the mailbox owner! We store the notes in the mailboxes and re-read them every year, laughing at the hand-writing, spelling and sentiments at times (“You are a good big brother and you always help me with my HARD homework” love his 3rd grade sister). We bought these mailboxes at Target in the dollar section years ago- and they carry them every year – it’s been another fun and relationship building traditions for our family.
Regarding Ash Wednesday, for Catholics, this day begins the Season of Lent for us. Lent is the 40 days leading up to Easter, when we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus. During this 40 day period of time, our family focuses on preparing our hearts, deepening our faith and showing our love. Sacrifice is a part of Lent – giving something up that may take up too much of your time, thus making more room in our schedule to read a devotional, pray or listen to your favorite worship music. Whatever makes you feel closer to God – do it during Lent… and don’t stop at Easter – keep it up! Sacrificing for others requires love. Love is also the focus of Valentine’s Day – BONUS!!! In the end, if you are religious or not, I hope Wednesday is a special reminder for you to appreciate those that are in your life, and who have shaped you into the person you are today. Much love to you, from me❤️
Not everyone will allow themselves to cry in public. I have definitely been known to openly shed a tear or two. I’m not talking about a big ugly cry, but tears on the cheeks, yes. Last week at my Bible study, I cried. It wasn’t something I had planned on doing, and to be honest, it even surprised me a bit. Now that I hopefully have your attention, I’ll explain.
I’m currently in a new season of life. These birdies that I have been raising are trying out their wings and I am nervously biting my nails as I watch them teeter on the edge of the nest. With one a college freshman and one a high school senior, the milestones come daily and it’s all a bit overwhelming. For the most part, I am able to focus on the positive and enjoy this season of new found independence – I’m doing OK (until I’m not).
This particular day at Bible study, I was commenting on a scripture passage that we had recently looked up. It was Ephesians 2:10 – “For we are God’s masterpiece – created in Christ Jesus, to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” While reading this scripture out loud, the words caught in my throat and I had to pause and pull myself together. You see, I have always wanted to be a Mom. Knowing very little what it would actually involve, the idea of raising littles was a tad magical to me. I felt that God was in agreement, since He blessed us with 4 stinky butt babes. But now, as my children have grown, I tend to wonder a little bit more about these “good works” that are meant for me. They aren’t so obvious anymore. I’m still busy, yes. Feeling productive, yes. But I am lacking that sense of being needed, feeling necessary – and frankly, this feeling is not the greatest. What else does God have planned for me? To be clear, my concern is less whether or not He does have plans for me, but will I love these new plans as much as I loved being a Mama to littles?!
I read before, that in order to deal with our pain and uncertainties, we need to lean in. What does leaning in look like? For me, it looks like sorting through boxes of outgrown clothing and pouring over scrapbooks containing pictures of years gone by. It’s sitting attentively as your senior debates between colleges , when all you really want to do is pull her onto your lap and read her a Golden book. It’s repainting bedroom walls from bubble gum pink to sophisticated grey. It’s talking with other parents about how to let go, while holding tight at the same time. And it’s tears – sometimes expected, but often an embarrassing surprise. It’s a big messy box of acceptance wrapped with a sloppy bow of denial on top. Even though we experienced these emotions just last year, we are still novices at this whole “watching your child grow up” gig.
I don’t think anyone should ever have to explain themselves when they are leaning in. It takes a lot of extra effort and is very important. It looks differently for everyone, but is crucial for all of us. Don’t think you can skip over tough things and hope it won’t catch up with you. It will. I’ve tried to ignore things, it doesn’t end well.
So what about you? Are you avoiding a tough situation right now? Or are you leaning in? Please know that I’m here – online if nothing else – if you’d also like to lean on me!
Quite often, when people discover that we truly enjoy traveling with our 4 kids, they respond with a small gasp, shake of the head and “Better you than me!” comment. Since they have been babies, we have included traveling into our families adventures, including small road trips and bigger excursions such as yearly trips in the car to Florida – about 40 hours round trip from our home in Michigan. Now – before you think that it’s all been magical and Kodak- moments perfect, let me share some of our most memorable traveling scenarios. We somehow managed to lose ALL of the pacifiers during one particular trip and subsequently had a crying baby in the car for hours as we drove in the pouring rain. Good times. We got the kids ice cream cones at a rest stop during one trip and our oldest child balanced his in the CUP HOLDER as he put on his seat belt ….. it quickly found it’s way to the floor as we merged back onto the highway for the next part of the drive. More tears. Yet another time, after 5 hours of expressway driving, our pre schooler exclaimed “WHAT?! I never buckled my seat belt ?!?!?!?!?” Sigh. And none of us will ever forget when our youngest had the biggest diaper explosion of her LIFE – and we had to strip that stinky, poop up to her shoulders baby in a random parking lot and line her car seat with newspapers before we could finish the drive. SEE?!?!? Doesn’t family travel sound like a “hootin, hollerin’ good time”?!?!? Makes you want to pack your bags, right ?!
We have taken 4 kids and a double stroller on buses, trains and cabs, and stayed in hotels, cabins and condos along the way. We’ve visited beaches, museums, aquariums, hot air balloon festivals, family friends and water parks. We have experienced flat tires, tornadoes and kids with strep throat while on our vacations. We’ve also had sunshine, belly aches from laughing and a lifetime of memory making events. Traveling with kids is much like daily life with kids – hit or miss. The better prepared you are , the better the experience. Keeping your expectations low is also essential. These babes are out of their element: different nap times- if any nap at all- not their bed, sippy cups or toys. Kids thrive on schedules and familiarity, which are both thrown out the window when you travel. Remembering this is helpful, otherwise, it’s way too easy to cry along with them on the expressway (which may or may not have actually happened to us).
Giving your children the opportunity to travel is a big gift. It doesn’t have to be Jamaica. Traveling 40 minutes to a local festival is a huge change of scenery for a child. New sites, sounds, smells and tastes are fascinating to young ones – and teens too ! Introducing different people, history, food and traditions to your kids is crucial in helping them to realize that it truly isn’t all about them. Opening their eyes to experiences that are not like those in their reality will grow them in a way you never thought possible – they will talk about these trips for years to come. I have fantastic memories of traveling with my own family as a child. Remembering times spent in the car with my sister playing cards and interviewing each other on our tape recorder always makes me smile. Taking turns being the “navigator” and sitting in the front seat holding the map in our hands was a special treat. Yes. An actual paper map. I am old.
It’s not for everyone – but how will you know if you never give it a try ?
Now – here are just a few memories, discoveries and realizations made on our last trip less than a few months ago…
Mary, happily munching on a bag of goldfish, says “People always say airplane food is gross – I LOVE it!”
I am told that a certain child’s toothbrush has been missing since Sunday. It’s WEDNESDAY when I find this out.
Unlimited food and drinks will catch up to you sooner or later.
Stink increases and patience decreases when 4 siblings share one room.
When a stranger in Mexico braids your child’s hair, she sits and smiles. When you brush the same child’s hair at home, she screams.
After watching an amazing Cirque de Sole & witnessing some incredible street performers in Key West, we felt required to attempt similar stunts in the pool. Much. Less. Impressive.
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