My biggest character flaw…

Everyone is good at something. We all have an area in which we excel. Some are extremely creative, organized or out going. Others are great at hosting, event planning or dealing with financial matters. It’s important to know where your skill sets are, and how they can help you succeed. On the other hand, it’s equally important to know the areas in our lives that need improvement. I am AWFUL at asking for help. Really bad at it. Seriously, I’d rather stick a fork in my eye than admit I need assistance or can’t handle something. Being stubborn only makes this worse, and gets me in more trouble. Every. Time.  I have several examples of situations that should have changed my mind about asking for help from others. But apparently, I’m a slow learner. I need to be repeatedly shown that I’m not capable of “going it alone”, nor should I even try that route. God provides these opportunities for growth frequently because He knows this is my weak spot.

Despite my inability to request help, one of my very favorite things to do is offer help to others. To see a need and fill it. To witness a struggle and make it easier for someone else to bear. The world is chock full of chances to assist others, and I love to jump right in! So – if I find joy in helping others, why do I refuse such help from my friends? Crazy. When I see the question on paper, I feel silly and shake my head. But still, I struggle. To bring a meal, pick up a child from practice, watch a toddler so a sick mama can rest – all of that would be appreciated … but would it be accepted if offered? I know I’m not the only one that tries to do it alone.

Pride. It’s a dirty word. It’s my biggest character flaw. I’m too proud to admit when life is indeed getting the best of me, or when I’m just trying to keep my head above water. There have been times that I didn’t know how I would possibly juggle all that needed to be accomplished. Those that know me, understand this – and help anyways. Their help is given in various ways. A text that contains a funny meme or an instant message that insists I am stronger than I believe.  Sometimes, it’s a meal delivered when I am unable to care for my family. Please note – help with my family and I will NEVER forget your kindness. These gestures mean the world to me, so why do I feel like sharing my burdens with those that love me is selfish? Why can’t I accept their love, smile and hug them and move on? How do I so easily forget the joy it brings me when I help others? The best part of friendship is helping each other through our most difficult days. The sickness of our children, the stress of marriage, the caring for our aging parents, the chaos of our typical Tuesday. We all have areas that we could use help in.

pride

Let’s make a deal. Let’s all be more honest with each other (especially on Fakebook, oops, Facebook).  Let’s try our best to be open about what we encounter that is threatening our sanity . We could even admit when we need an extra set of hands, or one less day of carpool commitment. Less guilt and less perfection. More community and more compassion. I can’t wait to help you out! My guess is that we will all benefit.

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My word for 2015…

YOU CAN COMPLAIN

A few years back, I heard about something interesting that I decided to do at the start of each new year. The concept of making resolutions for the New Year has always been a negative one for me. Call it what you will – lack of will power, too high of expectations, big dreams and smaller amounts of motivation – but I never quite made it through January the end of the year with my list. It all seemed too daunting. So, needless to say, I was über excited to learn about a new way of doing things in order to get the positive results that I desired.

Basically, I choose a word. A concept that I’d like to focus on through out the entire year. A word that I can work into my daily life – my relationships, my struggles, my schedule. A word to meditate upon instead of a list to “do”. In the past, I have chosen the words peace, service and contentment. I go to my fave place, Pinterest, and create a board for my new word. I include quotes, articles or pictures that “speak to me”, that encouraged me to keep my word in the forefront of my mind. This year, I have chosen the word perspective. The photo quote above is one of my pins. And by the way – if you are not yet on Pinterest – please go and sign up. Now. I can wait. It will change your life  (in a good way). But, I digress. 🙂

Choosing your word has to be well thought out – it can’t just “happen”. It’s something I usually start thinking about during December, so that I will be ready  once all of the cookies have been eaten, the tree is down and the calendar flips, beginning the New Year. Typically , it will be a word that I feel like I need to understand more, connect with more, have in my life to a greater extent. A word that naturally intrigues me. I chose perspective as my word this year for several reasons. First, because of its basic definition. I am – please note the blog name – a lover of words. I like to learn new ones and then throw them into every day conversations. I like to use “big ones” and sound smarter than I actually am (we called those 50 cent words when I was growing up – as in “Don’t come in here and start throwing 50 cent words around here, Buddy!”) But I digress. Again. 🙂  Dictionary.com defines perspective as “a mental view or prospect”.  I feel that I did indeed need a change in my mental view.

Next, I truly felt that I needed to be reminded that my view was up to ME. The things that happen to me, rumors I hear, reports from news program … they are legit – but I get to decide how to react or “feel” about them all. And finally, and most  importantly, I wanted to start focusing more on the positive. Even in the worst case scenario – there is hope, and I wanted to train myself to look for that silver lining. I want it to become more natural. I know that there are still going to be  moments when I will want to sneak into the pantry, shut the door and enjoy a few minutes of solitude and M&Ms. I am definitely not saying that because I am focusing on the good that the bad will just disappear (don’t I wish). But during 2015, I am choosing to look for the good and see if that helps me to find it more than when I am grumbling around feeling sorry for myself.

I have mentioned this on Facebook each year and love it when my friends post their words for the year as well. It’s very interesting and motivating. So – what do you think? What is your word for the year?