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Today is the day!

I gave a lot of thought to choosing my word this year. I knew that the next 12 months would be bringing some major changes to our family dynamics, including two of our daughters getting married almost exactly 4 months apart. As someone with a type A personality, it is very easy for me to get caught up in planning, preparing, changing details, and nailing down specifics. It’s all too common for me to be in a situation or with a friend or loved one and have my mind creating a list of the next errands that need to be done, items that need to be returned, or ingredients that need to be purchased. I don’t want to miss the excitement and joy that we are in the thick of because I am focusing on the things that still need to be done – let’s face it, no matter how far ahead you plan, there will ALWAYS still be things that need to be done. I don’t want to be distracted with what is yet to be, I want to be completely present with the task at hand. I won’t be getting this time back, and if my mind is elsewhere, even the memories of these events will be a bit skewed. God, please help me to focus on TODAY, and celebrate both the magic and the mundane of the next 24 hours!

I also struggle with perhaps filling my days a bit too much. How much can I get done today? How many items can be checked off of my list? I am a big fan of lists and making sure I have a plan for each day or event. As a Mom of four young children, I realized that my productive days wouldn’t look quite the same, as my schedule was no longer my own. I started writing a “Have done list” instead of a “To do list”. This helped me to feel proud of all that I had accomplished each day while still feeding, bathing, napping, diapering and loving on my littles. The pressure was off as I added items to the list AFTER they were completed (*paid a bill *did a load of towels *did my bible study) instead of a looming list of chores and errands calling my name. I was still getting things done, but at my own pace and one that allowed my family to be my priority. There are certainly days that I need to ask myself what would benefit me more, being productive or getting some rest. I need to become more aware of how these busy days and schedules affect my mental state. As much as I love to get things done – I’m also a huge advocate for a nap on the couch with the dog. Balance – it’s all about balance – and what works for me today.

Every day is different, even if we think we know how things are going to play out. Some days seem to last forever, and some are over before you know it. Some days bring a tsunami of emotions and some days are absolutely uneventful and a big 24 hours of B-O-R-I-N-G. I am going to try to take each day as it comes and accept the highs and lows that arrive along with each new sunrise. I will do my best to thank God for every day as I pray each night. One of my favorite quotes is ” Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day”. I’m not going to sugar coat what life throws my way – if it’s a craptastic day, ok then. Tomorrow is a new day. Being able to enjoy each day also requires me to let go of the malarkey that has recently happened – to keep moving forward. God has reminded us in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. Today. We should be focusing on today – and that is my goal in 2025. Praying for your strength as you chase whatever you are running after this year . May we all find a wonderful mix of adventure and peace wrapped up with a sparkly bow of gratitude. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Change…

“Change is the only constant in life” – Heraclitus

I’ll be the first to admit that change has never been my favorite. I love consistency, the familiar. I love to know what is coming so that I can be prepared. I love to know that I’ve handled something successfully before and can (hopefully) do it yet again. But in my almost 29 years of being a wife and over 26 years of parenting, I have found that change is one of the most common parts of life. If our family manages to do something twice in a row without any differences in the experience – call the presses! I have learned to be flexible in my approach and it has definitely benefited all of us. That being said, our family has a lot of changes coming in the next year. Am I ready? Can one ever really be “ready”?!

We have two daughters that will be getting married in 2025 -one in June and one in October. We are having fun planning two very different events and it’s been exciting to say the least. But as we schedule the Bridal Shower and pick out centerpieces for the big day, reality settles in. These two daughters will not be coming “home” for Christmas next year. Yes, they will visit for hours at a time, but they won’t be living at home anymore. This Christmas, for several reasons, was the “last” as we know it, since next year only one of our four children will actually wake up at our house next year on Christmas morning. Santa will only have one stocking to fill, as new spouses will now have that responsibility. We will have to find a new time to open presents together, since the time we have always done this in the past no longer works. We will have to consult the schedules of two more families in addition to the 9 schedules we are currently working around to fit everything in. We will no longer have the entire family at every event. Things are changing and we will need to be open to it. “But, we’ve always done it that way!” must not be uttered. The first few holidays will be a learning experience for sure.

Although it does make me a bit anxious, I am also excited to see the new traditions we will undoubtedly create. They will not be REQUIRED to happen on December 24th or 25th. They can change time and location from year to year. We can have a full meal, or just drinks and desserts. We can exchange with everyone or draw names. We can wear our fanciest holiday clothes or our pajamas. The main idea is that these changes are discussed and agreed upon by the majority. Everyone has an opinion and expectations and it’s necessary to feel heard and understood. No, not everyone will get their way. No, not everyone will be happy with the date chosen or restaurant we are meeting at, or time the event will begin. But we all must understand that the holidays are for being TOGETHER and that means flexibility and possibly having pasta instead of tacos and buying a White Elephant gift instead of exchanging gift cards. Hugging your Mom and drinking a Cranberry Margarita while reminiscing about the time the cats knocked the tree down – now THAT’S CHRISTMAS. I pray that as each holiday arrives we are together, healthy and happy – that’s my wish for my family and yours – even with all of the changes!

Time to go!

I have always loved to travel. My parents always encouraged us to be curious and explore new places. In the days before internet, my Mom would go to the library and research vacation options, spending hours on the phone learning about new locations and trip possibilities for our family of four. We camped in our VW van and visited Cedar Point, King’s Island and Sea World. We went to the World’s Fair, Washington D.C. and an unforgettable 2 week trip out West. As a grown woman, I still remember these trips fondly, and speak of them to my own children often. These times were memory making at it’s finest and fueled my desire to travel with my own family in the future.

We didn’t wait long hitting the road once we started having children. We took yearly trips to Florida in the mini van – I could write a book about all the lessons we learned with babies and toddlers on the open road! As they grew, I created bags of activities for them including clipboards that they could color on, and cookie sheets they could use with magnets. I read chapter books out loud and we searched for specific things out the windows to help the time pass – red cars, tall buildings, etc. We stopped at rest stops and had races to get the wiggles out, and grabbed ice cream to boost morale when the road seemed endless. Some of our favorite family memories happened on those excursions. We laugh harder every time a story is remembered.

At this point, we are still traveling. We returned yesterday from two days of hiking at one of our favorite State Parks in Ohio. It was just the two of us, and we are truly enjoying the opportunities to just get up and GO. Two to three day trips are becoming my favorite. It’s the perfect amount of time to sneak away from reality without breaking the bank or creating a mountain of “catch up” upon your return. We love the fall and find that it is perfect for these trips. The colors of the leaves, falling temperatures, and need for some rest before the busy holiday season can almost guarantee a memorable trip. Planning a fun getaway doesn’t require lots of money or time, just a desire to explore and an idea of what sounds “good” to you – sight seeing, tours, adventure, or a stack of book and hours to enjoy them.

In the end, I highly recommend getting in the car and taking off. It doesn’t have to be far away. The next town over could offer more fun than you ever imagined. Fill your tank, grab some snacks, type the address into your map app and hit it! There are ALWAYS new places to go – and there’s also something to be said for going to a favorite location over and over (and over). Pack a bag and have it at the ready so you have no excuses when a fun opportunity arises. A change of scenery is good for the soul. Choose a location and go explore!

Goodbye, September

Well, we made it. Years ago, I wrote a blog titled September is the new December. The idea still rings true and this month has yet again worn me OUT. September includes the chaos of ending summer with the whirlwind of beginning a new season of school and life in general. In our house, we were simultaneously washing the last load of towels from the lake while moving two daughters into their home away from homes at college. It included buying school supplies and filling in every calendar square with mandatory meeting dates for clubs and new organizations. It was a messy month filled with goodbyes and new beginnings and it was draining both physically and emotionally. But we did it! Tomorrow brings a new month (one of my FAVORITES) and I am here for it!

Changing the decor at home is one of my favorite things as well. I have three 50 gallon tubs specifically for the months of September, October and November. In September I slowly begin to bring out more muted tones and a bit of marigold, orange and brown. I have a few signs about Autumn and a few pumpkins, scarecrows, and squirrels scattered about the house. Cinnamon and apple scented candles are lit and things get a bit more cozy. Once October arrives, I bring more Halloween decor into the mix -black cats, jack-o-lanterns and cute ghosts join the pumpkins on the mantle. Candy is brought out on the island and pictures of all 4 of my children on their first Halloween sitting in or next to a pumpkin are displayed. In November we switch out the jack-o-lanterns for turkeys and Pilgrims and signs expressing the value of gratitude. The house feels different and more festive, and even though I don’t have children here anymore that notice and enjoy the changes – I love it so I will keep decorating as each new season arrives.

I have always loved living in an area that has four seasons. As each new season begins – I am ready and excited for all of the changes in weather and activities that it brings. I think that is perhaps one of the secrets to life. Be ready for the changes that are coming. Look forward to the differences that are inevitable in your schedule and focus on your favorite parts of each new month or time frame. The seasons prove to us over and over that nothings lasts forever and that taking each new day as it comes is the best strategy for peace. I hope that you enjoy your Autumn – no matter what that looks like for you. Cheers to falling leaves and hot coffee, a book and a blanket on a rainy day!

Home is where your heart is…

As long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a wife and a Mom. I’ve always loved the idea of creating a space that was welcoming to others. As a newlywed, I had so much fun setting up our home and establishing traditions with my new husband. Within a few years, our home began to fill with children – four children in almost exactly seven years. I had daily opportunities as a stay at home Mom to set the tone and schedule while creating an environment that helped to make my children feel loved and secure, and that my husband wanted to return to after work. Now, despite my best efforts, this didn’t always work out, and by evening I was counting down the minutes until bedtime and the chance to try again in the morning. Lost retainers, broken washing machines and sickness can easily throw a wrench into any thought of a calm and peaceful household. And that’s life, some of our best memories are from times in the past when things were a bit out of control. Home was still a place that we all felt comfortable and knew we could be ourselves.

We never really had a chore system in which each child had designated chores. I basically just voiced what needed attention and someone took care of it. Sometimes after me mentioning it 37 times, sometimes immediately. We were a typical family that found a rhythm of order among the clutter and chaos of life and knew what had to be done each day, even if we didn’t want to do it. The children grew and realized that our house was not cleaned by fairies in the middle of the night as they slept. They began to take ownership and responsibility for their environment and knew they wouldn’t be allowed to ask a friend over if their space looked like “a pit” as I used to say. They looked forward to inviting friend to sleep over and to having cook outs with family.

Time passed and these crazy kids each eventually headed away to college. Some stayed close and some went a bit farther, but regardless of their new location, they were no longer “home”. Their rooms were empty, no one sat at their chairs during dinner, and their absence was felt by all of us, including the pets. When our oldest left for college, I had the idea of creating a keepsake for him that would remind him of home and the fact that he could always return – and we’d be there with open arms. I found a company that made bracelets with any coordinates engraved in them. I added the coordinates of our home address as a reminder that he had a home full of people that loved him. Each child that left got a similar bracelet, and our youngest birdie just left the nest last week and received her bracelet on move in day.

Our home is much quieter these days. But I know we will continue filling it with love and laughter for many years to come. It’s difficult to keep a house running and presentable with a family of six (or a family of any size, for that matter). There were many days when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel. But I am so glad that I focused on our family and the times that we shared together under one roof – the good times and the bad, because we needed both to create the bonds that now exist. I pray that our children will also make their home life a priority and cherish the time they spend in their future homes as well.

What do you want to do when you grow up?

Our youngest of four is in the final stretch of her Senior year in high school. She has a matter of weeks before this chapter of her life is over and is feeling all of the emotions. Her days are filled with school, friends, and tennis, and her evenings are occupied with finishing scholarship applications. She’s answering questions regarding how she has spent these last four years, what accomplishments she has achieved, and what her goals are for the future. These applications and required essays are forcing her to reflect . Honestly, I think it should be a requirement for all of us – every five years or so – just a quick check in with ourselves. This form that she must fill out makes her pause and really look at what fills her time. How much of her energy is spent helping others? What is she doing to move herself closer to her goals, and does she even have clear cut goals?

Once we finish school, we tend to fall into a routine and not change much. OK, occasionally we will try a new restaurant or change laundry detergents, but for the most part we do what we have always done. I don’t think we do it on purpose. I feel like most humans find a rhythm of life and don’t look to change things up. We have a schedule, and it works for us, so why fix what’s not broken? But are we living the life we could be living? Are there things we could add or eliminate that would serve us well, move us forward, or help us grow? Have we accomplished the things that we had considered in our days of youth when we didn’t need 8 hours of sleep and 2 cups of coffee to start our engines? It’s not too late! We can still evaluate our lives and make the changes that we have been contemplating. We can start a new hobby, change our exercise routine, commit to reading more books or meeting up with more friends. We can find an organization that needs volunteers, donate to help a community in need, or write letters to our government officials regarding changes we’d like to see made.

I am energized as I watch my daughter prepare for this new chapter ahead. When her new adventure begins – a new chapter will also begin for us. I am prepared for change and the loud sound of silence in a house that has always been filled with music, conversation and laughter. The schedule we keep will change, the way we cook will change, and I anticipate that next year may be a difficult year as we adapt . But I am ready and willing to make the best of these changes and allow room for the grief process as well as I miss all the birdies who have left our nest. I’m writing my own lists and thinking about what I’d like to do, to change, and to eliminate as this new season of life arrives. So now, as I start to reflect, here’s my question for you… What do YOU want to do when you grow up?

Effort – word of the year 2024

This is now my 12th year for choosing a word to focus on instead of a list of resolutions for the New Year. In the past, words I have chosen include perspective, peace, service, contentment, release, acceptance, focus, rise, enough, progress, and intentional. I truly respond better to a word that encourages rather than resolutions that may restrict. This year I chose the word effort. I’d love to explain why I’d like to focus on adding effort in all areas of my life and 2024.

In 2023, my word was intentional. I was more deliberate in scheduling visits with friends and family. I made time to enjoy reading, knitting, and exercise in my weekly schedule. I took more control of the things I had power over -my food and water intake, sleep schedule, screen time, etc. -and tried my best to not complain about the things that were out of my control. Basically, I looked at my day and made my best attempt to fill it with the things that would help me live my happiest and most productive life. Obviously, it didn’t always work out that way, but the intention was always there!

This year, I’d like to see what I can achieve if I throw in some extra effort. I learned that my life definitely improved with more intentionality, and I know I will see progress, growth, and development in several areas if I add effort -it’s a given. I have goals I’d like to meet, but without effort, there’s no way that they will happen. By definition, effort is “exertion of physical or mental power”. Making sure that I throw in some extra resolve to reach these goals will only benefit me. Pushing a bit harder towards a challenge will also help to keep me focused and moving in the right direction. Adding effort into my daily life will only help to improve my relationships, health and overall happiness and wellbeing – and I’m here for it!

So bring it, 2024! Go ahead and blow those “winds of change” that I see in the forecast! I will be doing my very best to make it a great year adding effort in all the areas of my life that matter most. Cheers to an amazing New Year!

It’s been an intentional year…

I chose the word intentional for my word of the year for the year 2023. I wanted to feel more in control of what was happening (and not happening) in my life. So as much as this word prompted me to plan and prepare, it also helped me to feel comfortable saying no and not feeling guilty. It helped me to look at why I was responding to life the way that I was, and how I could feel differently if I changed my ways. It was a good year.

The first thing I wanted to focus on for the year was to insure that I’d be reading more. I’ve always loved to read, but as the years passed, I found myself reading less and less. I decided to make it easier for me to pick up a book and read by always having them available in my home. I ordered a few books with some gift cards I had received for Christmas. I went to the library every few weeks. I asked my friends on Facebooks for recommendations of their favorite titles in different genres.I read before bed instead of scrolling on my phone. I put my book in my purse so that if I had to wait at an appointment I could read a few chapters. I had a basket that I would keep full of books “to be read”. I kept a running list of each book title (and author) that I had finished. And because of all of these things, I finished 32 books this year. I chose to make those changes, no one else would have done any of those things for me. Being intentional about reading more and then planning accordingly helped me to succeed in my goal. I know full well that many people read far more than that in 12 months, but I am proud of myself and so very happy that I was able to jump back into a hobby that brings me such joy.

Another goal for 2023 was to continue my hobby of knitting winter hats and donating them to local charities. I enjoy knitting, but other than creating gifts for others, I didn’t feel I had the reason or resources to knit throughout the year. I especially enjoyed knitting hats, both for children and adults. Years ago, my children took an annual short missions trip with their youth group to help sort and distribute both food and clothing to those in need. Knowing that the trip was in November, I would knit all year and donate my hats to those they were helping. A few years ago, these trips stopped and I had to find new places to donate. It’s been fun each year to find winter hat/gloves drives and donate to them as I could. I let all of my friends know that I am knitting all year long and could use any yarn that they might want to provide. I posted on local Facebook “free pages” and explained what I did and was offered bags of free yarn. I take my knitting everywhere – on car rides, to the lakehouse, and I am never in front of the TV without my knitting on my lap. I also listen to books on tape as I knit on the couch. It’s a calming activity for me and I love that fact that in the end it is helping others, too. This year I have once again donated over 100 hats. I couldn’t do it without the generous souls that give me the yarn to work with, and I am so grateful. But once again, these hats could easily not have been made – I have to be intentional about keeping yarn stocked and having my supplies nearby when I have the time to knit. I’m feeling good about the donations I’ve made and the hats that were given to those who needed them.

I have other victories this year as well. I have seen more friends, taken more small trips, continued and changed my work out schedule, and focused on seeing the positive during difficult situations – all because I was doing my best to be more intentional. This blog has also been effected – I was able to write 12 times this year – once a month. It may not sound like much of a success story, but for as long as I have had this blog – over 8 years – that has never happened. I would run out of time, wasn’t able to think of something “worthy” to share, or life just got in the way. This year, I watched the calendar and tried to schedule an afternoon to write. I’d keep notes on possible blog topics on my phone. I’d let little things in life prompt a post, and I wouldn’t worry about blog length like I have in the past. I’m so excited about reaching this goal – it may be the thing I am most proud of this year regarding taking a bit more control back in my life.

I am now thinking and praying about my new word for 2024. I can’t wait to see how it will help to make me a better person in this upcoming year. If you have not tried this concept, I highly recommend it. Having one special word to lean on for 365 days is a great learning experience and can encourage growth in so many areas! I’m looking forward to continuing writing , and I will do my best to keep the streak alive – see you in a month 🙂

Traditions…

The month of November has always been a favorite of mine. Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday and as an adult, the month became even more amazing as we welcomed two of our four babies home, one on the 6th and one on the 16th! My love language is words of affirmation, so gratitude has always been on the top of my list of importance. My Mom set the precedent by making sure we wrote thank you notes for any and all gifts we received as children. I have done the same with my own children and have been so saddened to see that writing thank you notes (for many – not all) is becoming a lost art. Showing gratitude is so very important to me, as I understand with my whole heart the value in being thanked for an item, your time, or your involvement in a situation. I have yet to meet a person that would not appreciate being acknowledged, seen and known for what they have done. Not to say that being thanked should be the reason for doing a good deed, but it surely can bring a smile. November is a monthly reminder for me to send a quick text, or card to mention my thankfulness.

Traditions are big in our house. They help to keep our family close, create memories, and build excitement for each holiday. Knowing what to expect brings security and if it’s a fun thing we are expecting, well, you know, even better! Each Thanksgiving, our extended family meets at my sister’s for breakfast. We all arrive around 9:30 AM, pour some coffee and begin our holiday together. When the kids were little, the tv would be on and we’d watch the parade and scream with delight when they saw the Clifford balloon, or Hello Kitty made an appearance . My Mom started the tradition when they were babies of getting each of them a book on Thanksgiving. As they grew, they were even able to request a certain title and were always thrilled to receive it that morning – several years those chapter books were started before we even left Aunt Tonya’s house! The picture books they received as tiny turkeys were all kept together and brought out every year and read during the months of November . Most of the books were written about the topics of the season of Fall, the idea of thankfulness or the holiday of Thanksgiving. I now read many of those books to my preschool class each November and they are still big hits! I look forward to continuing this tradition once my children have children of their own.

After breakfast, we typically head home to digest and take a nap or watch our first holiday movie of the season. Later in the day, we would head to my In laws for more food and family time. At this point, we are now gathering at my Sister in Laws and it’s different but just as wonderful. That’s an important thing to remember about traditions, quite often they don’t last forever. Sometimes it’s simply impossible to continue them (a restaurant closes or part of the family moves 3 states away). Often, the interests of the group change as they age and it is just not fun or eagerly anticipated any longer. Perhaps an event is too expensive to attend at this point. There are many reasons why plans could change after being set for years and years. And that’s OK. One of the worst parts of having a tradition is not realizing that it’s time for it to end. The coolest part – you can find something new to do together instead!

The day after Thanksgiving is also a special time for our family. This basically marks the start of the Christmas season for us. When the children were younger, they would go to my Mom’s house that Friday and help her decorate, bringing up the boxes from the basement, setting up her nativity scene and making a batch of cookies. My current college age children continue to stop by and make sure that she doesn’t need help on this day. After decorating/shopping/visiting friends all day, we head to our local zoo for their annual amazing lights display. Being November, we never know what the weather will bring. We have walked through the zoo enjoying 60 degree conditions and raced through in the rain. The years that it has snowed during our visits always made us extra happy! We then finish the night with a delicious dinner at Spaghetti Wharehouse.

As the children have aged and now have significant others who also have family traditions, it has become increasingly difficult to keep a few of our traditions going – and again, it’s OK. If we want something to continue, we will find a way by changing the time, day or location. But discussions are already happening that have suggested new ideas for us to consider. In the end, I am blessed to have family that understand the importance of time together and the joy it brings my heart.

Blessings to you and your family as you acknowledge the joy and love in your life today and everyday!

My turkeys, many years ago ❤️🦃‼️

Do you have a favorite room in your home?

I absolutely love the house that we call home. We chose to build our house and moved in over 21 years ago – with only two children at the time. We have since added two more children, said hello and good bye to several well loved pets, changed vehicles, jobs and hairstyles. We have grown, celebrated, mourned and hoped in this home. Our neighbors have become friends, I have a walking route I use daily, a grocery store and favorite restaurant nearby and family is within a short drive. I have always loved decorating each room for each season and holiday, creating memories with our children along the way. Time spent together is treasure here, and I always breathe a sigh of relief when I walk in the door.

I recently saw an article on self care that spoke on the topic of having a special spot for ourselves. I thought about it for about thirty seconds and knew where mine was right away. It’s actually the first room on the left as you enter our home. As you arrive through the front door, you can see the first wall of this room – with the letters H O M E on the wall. Another sign reads “Best Family (in the history of ) Ever. It’s a “den” of sorts, that I have claimed as my spot. In it sits a comfy beige sofa in between 2 dark brown end tables. Each table holds a lamp and a plant 🙂 A wax melter sits on the table closest to the window, and it is always on heating the scents of the current season – today’s scent is cinnamon maple. There is a coffee table that has a lower shelf crammed with books, bibles, journals and more. On the top of the table sits a plump pumpkin that I bought over 25 years ago when I worked at Hallmark. On the wall there is a shelf from Ikea that holds dozens of scrapbooks and photo albums. Twenty eight years of pictures and memories on those shelves. On the opposite wall is a corner shelf that holds skeins of yarn and my knitting looms and supplies. The bottom shelf is where I stack the hats that I knit and donate. Under the window is a soft brown bench that holds – you guessed it – more books, plants and hats waiting to be donated. Daily, our cat Ron sits on this bench, snacks on the plant and watches the birdies that sit on the tree in our yard just a few feet away. There is a basket filled to the top with soft blankets and pillows, unless it is Christmas season. During that time, I place a miniature tree covered with white twinkly lights, causing me to love this space even more. The light pours into this room through the Northern windows, and I rarely have to turn on the lamps, but when I do, the room feels extra cozy and inviting. I sit on the end of the couch by the window and read, write or knit. On the couch next to me, Ruby buries her nose in her “softer than anything I’ve ever felt in my life” dog bed. When I’m on the couch, I can see both outside into the neighborhood, and inside the first story of our home and anyone going up or down the stairs. It truly is my favorite room in the house.

Do you have a room in your house that makes you extra happy? A room that you retreat to when you need to be productive, or just sit for a minute without interruption? I truly think we all deserve a spot like this, and I’m so grateful for mine. Let me know where you go in your home, and why it’s extra special to you!