love

Simple Pleasures

There is so much talk about “self care” these days. I wholeheartedly agree that it’s vital and extremely important – especially for those who are also taking care of others in addition to themselves. The most difficult part is that at times it seems the only things we are told will help soothe us and our tired minds and bodies seem out of reach or too extravagant/ pricey. A tropical vacation, spa day, new shoes or clothes, for example. I’d like to suggest a few of my simple pleasures that are not going to require refinancing your house to bring a sense of calm and rejuvenation. As a for former Stay at Home Mom of 4 with a husband that travels internationally, I had to be creative when I needed comfort and rest. I hope this list may give you an idea or two of ways that you can promote a sense of serenity in the midst of a chaotic situation or schedule. These are basic things that can help us feel relaxed , bring a smile or allow us to take a small break and find perspective – nothing huge, but highly effective!

  • This may seem like a silly idea to you – but for me, it’s a must! I always have some type of fun or meaningful screensaver on my phone. Seriously, how many times do we look at our phone during the day? For me, it’s a mood lifter when I see a favorite family pic, scripture verse or holiday graphic when I grab my phone. I even have a pinterest board full of options so I can change it as many times as I’d like. I currently have an adorable pumpkin cartoon as my saver and it always makes me smile when I see it. Free, and I love it! (I will add the picture below so you can enjoy the cuteness, too!)
  • This a no brainer for me – I love coffee and drink water all day long, too – so it matters what cup I am using… 🙂 I have a few favorite coffee mugs that I have owned for more than 30 years. Yes, sounds crazy, but when I drink from them, whatever I am drinking tastes even better – is that a thing?! I also have several travel mugs that are special to me – whether they bring back memories of the person that gave them to me, or just do a kick a$$ job of keeping my drink cold – using that mug always makes me happy.
  • Here is another basic idea that can be picked up anytime you are at the grocery store. I absolutely love fresh flowers. Buying a small $8 bouquet of yellow daisies (my fave!) will keep me smiling for days. Don’t wait for someone else to buy you flowers – do it for yourself! Bonus, if your handsome husband walks in with them as a surprise though!
  • Music – we all know that music has a way of shifting our mood. I have a playlist of my very favorite songs for this reason. I will play it whenever I need a boost – or when I’m exercising, cleaning, knitting – just about anytime. Make yourself a playlist of your faves – fast and slow, old and new … put it all on one list and enjoy!
  • Lotion and candles – these are both low budget essentials that I keep available all year long. I absolutely LOVE for things to smell good – my favorites are vanilla, cinnamon and maple for candles. My poor husband has been tricked many times as he returns home and expects some delicious baked good on the counter, and is disappointed to see a lit candle on the table instead. Wearing a pretty scent is also a mood lifter for me. At Kroger last week, the cashier told me I smelled like a marshmallow – that made me laugh, I mean, there are worse things I could smell like, right?!
  • Pillow – think for a minute how long we are in bed each day – at least 6 hours, hopefully more. Now think about your pillow. Do you like it ? How old is it – if you say 30 years old, I will gag. We should all have a clean, supportive pillow that gives us a soft place to lay our heads each night and sleep away the weariness of our days. There are so many great options out there right now – some more expensive then others, but well worth it in my eyes. I have a memory foam pillow that I literally think about during the days and sometimes count the hours until we meet again (thank you, perimenopause!). Going to sleep should bring you a sense of peace and an amazing pillow might help!

Ok friends – please do me a favor and give me some of your basic, affordable ideas that bring you joy. There is never enough joy and calm in the world – I can’t wait to hear YOUR suggestions!

Lessons in matrimony – learned by the Mother of the Bride

Deep breath, we did it. All the bad dreams of the venue closing and showing up in my pajamas did – in fact – NOT come true. The day was truly perfect and a core memory – make that memories – were made. As with all big life events, lessons were learned. Here are some ideas and concepts that I believe should be shared so we can all learn from each other’s experiences. Here goes – in no specific order…

TAKE PICTURES!

If I heard it once I heard it 1000 times “Put your phone down for the day”. Others who have lived through the wedding day of a child advised me not to take pictures during the day. To instead be present and enjoy each moment as it happens. I call BS. Somewhere along the lines, taking pictures got a bad rap. For me, I AM fully in the moment behind the lens, so much that I want it captured forever! I realize the importance of the action or embrace and want a keepsake of the moment. I’m still sad as I realize all of the moments I missed and pictures with people that I don’t have to help me remember this amazing day. I also didn’t wear my watch in order to help me stay in the moment. Although the idea is a good one, I can’t tell you how many times I went to look at my watch and instead saw my beautiful wrist corsage. It was half past a daisy and quarter till a rose all day. So, for the next wedding, which is in three months, as we are blessed for our second daughter to be married in the fall, I will be taking pictures all the live long day with absolutely no regrets!

DON’T CHANGE ANYTHING- Unless it’s crucial, don’t change any plans you have already made on the day before or the day of the big event. These schedules, locations, songs, etc. have been well thought out, and the wedding day is not the day to second-guess anything. Trust your decisions, don’t move the cake table or change the seating arrangements. Relax and know that you have done your best possible planning, now go and enjoy all of the details that will make the day so memorable!

GUESTS – Don’t be surprised when people cancel the day of the wedding or show up without a card or gift. We heard from a few brides that this had happened to them, but we were truly blown away by this one. Letting the host know that you are attending gives them the greenlight to pay for your appetizers, meal, drinks, dessert, and late night snack for the day (money that is not refunded if you decide not to show up). Imagine hosting a meal for 150 people – we’ve all been to the grocery store lately!!! The fact that some people enjoyed a full on celebration of the new bride and groom without even bringing a card Blows. My. Mind. In fact – I can’t write anything more on the topic without getting myself in trouble.

PREPARE A SCHEDULE FOR THE DAY- We had a tentative schedule for the wedding day that was immensely helpful. It included times, but we were not naïve enough to think that certain things would probably take longer than anticipated. We even included a schedule of sorts on the tables for our guests so that they knew what to expect and when to expect it during the hours of the reception. We left out the times of each activity on this schedule because we didn’t want people to be all, “Ooooohhhh- they were supposed to cut the cake seven minutes ago!”. Come on, you know these people! There are so many things to remember and the day flies by at warp speed, so having this schedule and sending it to the bridal party and parents of both the bride and the groom saved the day a few times.

CLEAN UP- Be prepared to tear down, pack up, and transport all of the decor that made your big event so fantastic. Know that you’ll be physically and emotionally exhausted at this point. Have a list of what can be tossed and what must be brought home. Bring containers for these items, and recruit family and friends to stay for a bit and help,if possible. This help is invaluable, and many hands truly make light the work in this situation.

DON’T PLAN ANYTHING FOR THE DAY AFTER THE WEDDING- Trust me on this. You will be looking for the truck that hit you and drug you for a mile. You will be tired, emotional, and in shock – all in a good way. You will need water, a nap, and time to look through the pictures that people are sending you – praise God, because you don’t have any of your own. Take the time to mentally unpack all that happened… reflect. What a day it was! Be proud of your son or daughter! Celebrate, and be grateful for the new life they have with their beloved.

Something old, something new…

At this point in my life, I am happily helping to plan two weddings. They are June 6th and October 4th 2025, fast approaching! To be quite honest, I am not doing much. The girls have fabulous ideas of how to make their BIG days special, unique and memorable. I am more of a sounding board – giving ideas and opinions that may or may not be used – which is fine with me! I am watching the planning and taking part in the details that will add joy and sentimentality into the day. As we get closer to each event, I have seen and realized a few differences since planning my own wedding WAY back in 1996 BP (before Pinterest). The internet and social media have also created quite a beast. Here are a few things I have noticed – the good, bad and the ugly.

*GOOD*

I love that the Bridesmaids dresses and all that is involved with them are more relaxed. No longer is it that the bride tells you exactly what dress you will get and requests that you get heels of a certain height dyed to match (do you REMEMBER how we dyed our heels ?!?!?!?). Now, it is much more freestyle. Often, the bride will select a color from a certain dress maker and ask all the Bridesmaids to choose the style that they are most comfortable in, that fits them most comfortably and showcases their body the best. It is also common that the dresses are the same style, but different colors, all blending beautifully. Heck – patterns are even a thing, now – how cool is it? FREEDOM!

Flower preservation! It’s the coolest thing, you guys! These brides are having amazing creations made from their bouquets… wall hangings, serving trays, coasters, jewelry and more! I would have done this in a heartbeat and am so excited for my girls to be able to keep such a special part of their wedding day and be able to enjoy it forever!

The Grand Exit… OK. So fun! The ideas are endless – but include special outfits, music, sparklers, bubbles, photos and more. Leaving to begin your new life together DESERVES a special moment and you can make it as grand or minimal as you’d like. Just one more memory of the day two became one. And a tad more fun then staying and helping to clean up and load the vans with all the hoopla!

Pinterest CAN be your friend. Everything in moderation, that’s the key. As a teacher, Pinterest can be my bestie or the cool girl that has it all. When considering weddings and every single decision that has to be made – social media can jump the fine line of friend or foe in a matter of 5 minutes of scrolling. Finding new and creative ideas is a plus, but determining how much is too much can be stressful… and it’s usually your budget that will make the final decision.

Wedding websites- I would have been all over this as a Bride to Be! You can create them to match your wedding colors and themes, give the background on how you and your future spouse met and what you hope the future will hold, introduce your bridal party, allow guests to RSVP on line (remember having to MAIL YOUR RSVP?!?!) take dance song requests for the reception and SO. MUCH. MORE. It’s an awesome way to communicate details and get everyone excited for the wedding day – color me green!

*THE BAD/UGLY*

Sh!t is expensive these days. Seriously. Even from 3 years ago – the cost increase has been incredible and it’s truly unfortunate how it effects every single aspect of the event. Put your budget following hats on – and get ready – it can be done!!!

Just because we are related… making a guest list is super tricky. Trying to remain at or below a specific number of attendees is actually painful. Should they have a plus one? Have you talked to this cousin in the last 2 years? Do you even have this person’s cell number – if not, how close are you really?! Many people will take offense if not invited – these are typically people that have not planned a wedding in the past. We are doing our absolute best to be respectful while filling the seats with people that are invested and supportive in the lives of the future Bride and Groom. It’s a hot button for sure.

In my mind, this is a plus, but many see the lack of traditional aspects at a reception as a negative. Fewer speeches, no bouquet or garter toss, etc. I love the fact that each event is so unique to each couple nowadays. If a tradition doesn’t hold special meaning to you – don’t include it. Fill your day with what will bring you joy – even if Grandma might be miffed (she’ll get over it). One of my least favorite sentences is “But we’ve always done it that way.” Just because things have been done a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you have to continue down that path – tweak it and make it your own – or eliminate it!

All in all, planning a wedding isn’t for the weak. I’m grateful that i’m just their biggest cheerleader and there for a hug when they hit the wall. Nothing is ever easy – but I know these weddings will be unforgettable and I am blessed to be a part of them, for better or for worse!

Five things I love…

With Valentine’s Day being a big focus during the month of February, we have been talking quite a bit about love, friendship and kindness at preschool. Focusing on these aspects of the holiday instead of the flowers, chocolate and wine (although greatly appreciated) helps to include all age groups into the joy that can be shared on February 14th. Teaching young ones the importance of expressing their feelings to others is so very important – and this is a great time of year to encourage this type of communication. Each year with my three year olds I do an activity that involves answering five questions. Basically, we talk about if you love something it is very special to you, something you would choose over everything else, something you treat especially well and something that can always make you smile. After we talk about these characteristics, I pull the children individually over to a quiet spot and ask them questions about specific things they love. I need to ask individually, because if we did this in a group, the first answer I received would be repeated 17 more times. At the age of 3, these tiny ones often have trouble talking about their preferences, and need help answering questions like this – although certain children had multiple answers for each question- which I happily accepted (you can love three foods, go ahead!) I let them know that I was going to ask them 5 questions and I would write down what they told me on a bright pink piece of paper that would be sent home for their parents to read. I asked about what they loved – 1. food 2. friend 3. place 4. family member 5. toy

FOOD– I personally thought this would be any easy one to answer, but it gave many of my little friends a great pause. I ended up with many different answers, but the most common two answers surprised me – broccoli and carrots (well look at you, healthy eaters – look at YOU!). The list also included crowd favorites such as strawberries, grapes, watermelon, chicken nuggets and bacon and eggies. One of my friends immediately shouted “CAVACADO TOAST” – I agreed that I also loved avacado toast!

FRIENDS– It was fun to hear how this one was answered as the concept of friends is still a bit blurry in preschool. I loved hearing them name classmates, cousins and siblings as friends that they loved. It was also fun for them to tell me a name and then hear how they knew this individual, “Bennett, you know, I play at his house”, or “Gus, he lives by my Grandma”. Friendships develop and mature with age, but my 3s all had answer for a friend that they loved.

PLACE– Having raised four children of my own who all had favorite places to go, I was anxious to hear what my tiny ones would name as their favorite place to go. Some of them were obvious and I completely agreed – Disney, the trampoline park, “that donut place” (more details, please!). Others made me laugh : Costco, Target, Kroger. Some were extremely specific “Glass City Metroparks (yes, Ma’am!) and “the Library Downtown”. I loved hearing about “The pizza place downtown” and now I need a name and address so I can try this pizza for myself!

FAMILY– This one was the easiest for them – I no sooner asked the question and they had an immediate reply. Nine of my 18 responded right away with “Mommy”. An additional three said “Mommy and Daddy” and the rest of the answers were siblings, cousins, and Grandparents. Their smiles were big as they shared with me their response and I could FEEL the love!

TOY – This was a no brainer. Each of my babes had an answer right away and most of them weren’t a surprise, because if you love something YOU TALK ABOUT IT. I was told about the usual suspects, Spiderman, Paw Patrol, The Ninja Turtles and The Hulk. Two little girls gushed about the unicorns they ALWAYS played with ,and one went on and on (and on) about her doll house that Santa brought her last Christmas. Other mentions included a dump truck, a blue car, and an Elsa dress and cape. I truly loved hearing about their most favorite toy because it gives me a bit more insight on their overall personality.

Even though the snow and ice kept us at home today and not at school for our Valentine’s Day party – it’s all good. When you are three, you don’t know the day of the week or the date on the calendar – so we can have a party any day! These bright pink sheets full of favorites will be sent home on Tuesday and will hopefully be enjoyed by the parents just as much as I enjoyed compiling the information.

Just for fun – I thought I would share MY favorites with you…

FOOD – Potatoes! Seriously – fries, chips, hashbrowns OH MY! This is a hill I will die on – sorry, not sorry 🙂

Friend – Steve, my husband – I call him my Prince for a reason. He is thoughtful, funny, loyal and the hardest working man I know. He loves me completely and doesn’t make me tuck in my crazy – win/win!

Place – Our lake house, Geneva Landing. When I arrive my blood pressure immediately lowers and we have created so many amazing memories there already. The fridge is always stocked with our favorite food and drinks and I will always treasure this amazing house by the water.

Family – My fab four. The 4 children we have created have made me proud, anxious, hopeful and exhausted and I wouldn’t trade a second of my time with our family to do anything else. They are generous, hilarious, intelligent and compassionate – I will sing their praises until my last days.

Toy – My Iphone. I love it more than I probably should. I have it with me all of the time and it helps me spell, stay organized, communicate with friends, figure out how much to tip the waiter, and calculate how much 30% off my jeans will save me!

So there you have it – more than you probably ever wanted to know about me. Now it’s YOUR turn! Please share your list of 5 favorites with me. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Home is where your heart is…

As long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a wife and a Mom. I’ve always loved the idea of creating a space that was welcoming to others. As a newlywed, I had so much fun setting up our home and establishing traditions with my new husband. Within a few years, our home began to fill with children – four children in almost exactly seven years. I had daily opportunities as a stay at home Mom to set the tone and schedule while creating an environment that helped to make my children feel loved and secure, and that my husband wanted to return to after work. Now, despite my best efforts, this didn’t always work out, and by evening I was counting down the minutes until bedtime and the chance to try again in the morning. Lost retainers, broken washing machines and sickness can easily throw a wrench into any thought of a calm and peaceful household. And that’s life, some of our best memories are from times in the past when things were a bit out of control. Home was still a place that we all felt comfortable and knew we could be ourselves.

We never really had a chore system in which each child had designated chores. I basically just voiced what needed attention and someone took care of it. Sometimes after me mentioning it 37 times, sometimes immediately. We were a typical family that found a rhythm of order among the clutter and chaos of life and knew what had to be done each day, even if we didn’t want to do it. The children grew and realized that our house was not cleaned by fairies in the middle of the night as they slept. They began to take ownership and responsibility for their environment and knew they wouldn’t be allowed to ask a friend over if their space looked like “a pit” as I used to say. They looked forward to inviting friend to sleep over and to having cook outs with family.

Time passed and these crazy kids each eventually headed away to college. Some stayed close and some went a bit farther, but regardless of their new location, they were no longer “home”. Their rooms were empty, no one sat at their chairs during dinner, and their absence was felt by all of us, including the pets. When our oldest left for college, I had the idea of creating a keepsake for him that would remind him of home and the fact that he could always return – and we’d be there with open arms. I found a company that made bracelets with any coordinates engraved in them. I added the coordinates of our home address as a reminder that he had a home full of people that loved him. Each child that left got a similar bracelet, and our youngest birdie just left the nest last week and received her bracelet on move in day.

Our home is much quieter these days. But I know we will continue filling it with love and laughter for many years to come. It’s difficult to keep a house running and presentable with a family of six (or a family of any size, for that matter). There were many days when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel. But I am so glad that I focused on our family and the times that we shared together under one roof – the good times and the bad, because we needed both to create the bonds that now exist. I pray that our children will also make their home life a priority and cherish the time they spend in their future homes as well.

We like because. We love despite.

While watching a movie the other night, the main character was giving a toast at an engagement party. She mentioned a quote that I had never heard before, but will surely never forget.

“We like because. We love despite.”

Six words. They made me think, contemplate, and evaluate. Like and love are words that are used daily in our society. I like mornings. I love coffee. I like French fries. I love e my husband. Arguably, both words are often used a bit flippantly, without concern of their definitions. “To like” is to “take pleasure in, find agreeable”. This quote makes perfect sense in claiming that we like because – something is funny, a class is easy, something is convenient, a teacher is lenient, a food is tasty, or a kitten is adorable. We tend to like what is comfortable, familiar, easy to understand, and sustainable. We often like what is popular, available, and promoted. Again – these are generalities. I have plenty of unpopular opinions – examples – I don’t like campfires, bubble tea or convertibles. When you like similar things as others, there is an instant camaraderie. Friendships are often created by finding out commonalities including music, movies, or sports teams a person may like.

We love for different reasons. By definition, love is ” a strong feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection”. Love often happens when we wish it wouldn’t. Love grows despite distance, inconvenience, personality differences, and most logic. I love cheese despite what it does to my stomach. I love my husband despite his snoring that keeps me up all night. I love my cat despite his inability to vomit anywhere but the carpet. I love my job despite the low pay. I love the area I live despite the high taxes. I love winter despite being terrified to drive in the snow. I continue to love something because it brings value to my life, makes me happy – despite the negative tag alongs. Although sometimes, love fades to like – the negatives begin to outweigh the positives. The resulting upset stomach doesn’t trump my desire for more cheese. Basically, we all get to determine the level of fondness for anything or anyone. But, if we love something that we also like, the odds are in our favor. That’s the coolest thing about a person marrying their best friend, for example. Despite the few things that he/she does that drive a spouse up the wall, they also have a lot of positive attributes and characteristics of their special someone that can be pulled out of the back pocket when necessary. Those will save you. In fact, it might be helpful to write up a list of those likes so you can glance at it when needed 🙂

“We like because. We love despite.”

Seriously, I can’t stop thinking about these six words. Bring this quote up in a group and watch the conversation take off. Who doesn’t love a great conversation?!

It’s a 2fer! Valentine’s Day & Ash Wednesday!

I love a good celebration. I think it’s super fun to decorate, find coordinating napkins, bake related food treats, and more. But this year – 2 special days for our family fall on the same calendar date! Wednesday is February 14th, both Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. A 2fer! I am personally thrilled that this day is being shared by two occasions that our family finds so valuable. If you think about it, these two special days have some very similar qualities – the importance of both love and sacrifice.

I know that Valentine’s Day has a bad reputation – often referred to as the “Hallmark Holiday”. There is history of this holiday of which many are unaware. St. Valentine lived in Rome, Italy in the 200’s. He was a Catholic Priest that secretly married Christians and otherwise helped others that were persecuted in other ways. He was arrested and imprisoned for doing these good deeds. He focused on love and helping those that needed assistance. In my mind, I think it’s important EVERY DAY of the year to focus on the good and open our eyes to the needs around us. Why not designate a special day each year to expressing our love and admiration to those who are important to us? Nope, I don’t believe it’s necessary to purchase a diamond or roses, or big boxes of rich, sweet chocolate – but who am I to turn such gifts down? Not a penny needs to be spent – words are free, written word is even better .  Write down your words of admiration, your thoughts of devotion, your gratefulness –  then it can be read over and over, and enjoyed forever. I have always loved the concept of Valentine’s Day and the Saint himself, I even went so far as to choose him as my Saint for my Confirmation! Every year in our house, we have a “Heart Hunt” for the kids – which I started when they were teenies. I place clues in the shape of hearts around the house and they search for the final clue that leads them to a small gift or gift for each of them. It continues to be a tradition that they enjoy each year. We also have tiny mailboxes that we put out in February each year. Many years ago they were decorated by each child and are used to collect notes from all of us. Notes that remind us why we are loved, admired and appreciated. When a new note is placed in the mailbox, the little flag is raised – creating quite a bit of excitement for the mailbox owner! We store the notes in the mailboxes and re-read them every year, laughing at the hand-writing, spelling and sentiments at times (“You are a good big brother and you always help me with my HARD homework” love his 3rd grade sister). We bought these mailboxes at Target in the dollar section years ago- and they carry them every year – it’s been another fun and relationship building traditions for our family.

Regarding Ash Wednesday, for Catholics, this day begins the Season of Lent for us. Lent is the 40 days leading up to Easter, when we celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus. During this 40 day period of time, our family focuses on preparing our hearts, deepening our faith and showing our love. Sacrifice is a part of Lent – giving something up that may take up too much of your time, thus making more room in our schedule to read a devotional, pray or listen to your favorite worship music. Whatever makes you feel closer to God – do it during Lent… and don’t stop at Easter – keep it up! Sacrificing for others requires love. Love is also the focus of Valentine’s Day – BONUS!!! In the end, if you are religious or not, I hope Wednesday is a special reminder for you to appreciate those that are in your life, and who have shaped you into the person you are today. Much love to you, from me❤️