life

The more things change…

2025 packed quite a punch, both good and bad, and our heads are still spinning a bit. A death in the family, a divorce, 2 weddings, 2 moves, a job change and empty nest. Our immediate and extended family was kept on its’ toes for 12 months straight and we hope to catch our breath in the new year. As the holidays approached this year, I was unsure what to expect, but I knew I wanted it to be special. Whether we were continuing with traditions of old or starting new ones, I prayed that the memory making would continue- and it did!

This year, the changes began in November, when for the first time we did not have all 4 children around the table. As sad as I was about it, my heart was at peace knowing that my daughter was not alone, but instead being loved up by her new family and getting to show off her new digs in Georgia to her in laws. We instead kept track of each other, as we have since her move in August by texts, calls, letters and facetimes. Our encouragement took on different forms but was always there and she knew it. The tears flowed at times, but the excitement grew as well, knowing she would be home in December!

December arrived and we did most of what we have always done – we attended tree lightings, Christkindl markets, the lights at the zoo and this year I also was blessed to attend an Advent Tea at my school. We changed the dates of several events, but they were still special and helped to bring the Fa La La to a month that attempts to race right past us. Our annual Extended family party that has historically been held the week before Christmas (to insure that all of my college kids were home to celebrate) was changed to December 27th so that our Georgia peaches could be in town to enjoy the family as well. This once again proved that it is not the date on the calendar but the people surrounding you that brings the magic.

As different as this season has been- the nostalgia still remained strong. The same chocolate treats were made and devoured on our dessert trays, the same Christmas cactus was praised as she miraculously bloomed for the holiday as if she had a calendar hidden somewhere, and the same songs made me cry on Christmas Eve. I still dreaded the clean up after it was all over, and still want to keep my tree up until February so I can enjoy her soft light in an otherwise dark room. I’m so very grateful for a season of change that was also filled with the joy of old times. I pray that 2026 brings the same type of balance.

Time for a new ride…

We said a difficult good bye last week. We knew it was coming, but that didn’t make it any easier. It was time, and we knew it was for the best. It was time to trade in the mini van and get a smaller vehicle. I mean we have dealt with so much change the last few months, why not?

We purchased our first mini van when we only had one child and he was around one. I remember him in a carseat as we test drove several vehicles and dreamed of the day when every seat would be filled. That happened – we had 3 more children and were often happily transporting their friends as well. It was a noisy crew and the closest I will ever come to being a bus driver, and I miss it already. We did our best to keep it clean, but the obvious french fries and hair ties were often found in between seats, drink spills and marker swipes were inevitable as well. We have had 3 mini vans in the last 26 years and they have served us well.

Many might think that trading in a vehicle is a simple, emotionless process – but I would disagree. Our mini van was named Holly, because who doesn’t name their cars (or is it only us?!). She has SEEN some things. From Christmas lights tours to college move ins, Florida road trips to transporting wedding decor for 2 of our daughters. All 4 of our children learned to drive in this Honda Odyssey, and she is not a little girl – if they could navigate the roads in her, they were good to go! She took all 4 of their belongings to college for us. On the roads that she traveled , she has heard long stories, loud laughter and angry disputes. She saw the children grow from grade school silly gooses to beautiful brides and home owning men. Saying goodbye to this van meant saying goodbye to the possibility of ever driving that many kids around again. As I said, she has witnessed our family evolve, and we are grateful for her – she was reliable and always ready for the next adventure.

I am happy with my new car – a maroon Chevy Trax that I have named Tiny. In comparison, she has some fun bells and whistles not found on Holly and she is a breeze to park in smaller spots. I have hung up my tried and true air freshener that is a photo of our dog Ruby, and purchased new gum and mints to enjoy on the road. She has already gone to the lake with us and driven through her first rain storm – we are making new memories for sure! All in all, this is just an appreciation post for having dependable vehicles and enjoying the big and little aspects of life.

*And lastly, and more importantly, what is the name of YOUR vehicle?!?!?

Simple Pleasures

There is so much talk about “self care” these days. I wholeheartedly agree that it’s vital and extremely important – especially for those who are also taking care of others in addition to themselves. The most difficult part is that at times it seems the only things we are told will help soothe us and our tired minds and bodies seem out of reach or too extravagant/ pricey. A tropical vacation, spa day, new shoes or clothes, for example. I’d like to suggest a few of my simple pleasures that are not going to require refinancing your house to bring a sense of calm and rejuvenation. As a for former Stay at Home Mom of 4 with a husband that travels internationally, I had to be creative when I needed comfort and rest. I hope this list may give you an idea or two of ways that you can promote a sense of serenity in the midst of a chaotic situation or schedule. These are basic things that can help us feel relaxed , bring a smile or allow us to take a small break and find perspective – nothing huge, but highly effective!

  • This may seem like a silly idea to you – but for me, it’s a must! I always have some type of fun or meaningful screensaver on my phone. Seriously, how many times do we look at our phone during the day? For me, it’s a mood lifter when I see a favorite family pic, scripture verse or holiday graphic when I grab my phone. I even have a pinterest board full of options so I can change it as many times as I’d like. I currently have an adorable pumpkin cartoon as my saver and it always makes me smile when I see it. Free, and I love it! (I will add the picture below so you can enjoy the cuteness, too!)
  • This a no brainer for me – I love coffee and drink water all day long, too – so it matters what cup I am using… 🙂 I have a few favorite coffee mugs that I have owned for more than 30 years. Yes, sounds crazy, but when I drink from them, whatever I am drinking tastes even better – is that a thing?! I also have several travel mugs that are special to me – whether they bring back memories of the person that gave them to me, or just do a kick a$$ job of keeping my drink cold – using that mug always makes me happy.
  • Here is another basic idea that can be picked up anytime you are at the grocery store. I absolutely love fresh flowers. Buying a small $8 bouquet of yellow daisies (my fave!) will keep me smiling for days. Don’t wait for someone else to buy you flowers – do it for yourself! Bonus, if your handsome husband walks in with them as a surprise though!
  • Music – we all know that music has a way of shifting our mood. I have a playlist of my very favorite songs for this reason. I will play it whenever I need a boost – or when I’m exercising, cleaning, knitting – just about anytime. Make yourself a playlist of your faves – fast and slow, old and new … put it all on one list and enjoy!
  • Lotion and candles – these are both low budget essentials that I keep available all year long. I absolutely LOVE for things to smell good – my favorites are vanilla, cinnamon and maple for candles. My poor husband has been tricked many times as he returns home and expects some delicious baked good on the counter, and is disappointed to see a lit candle on the table instead. Wearing a pretty scent is also a mood lifter for me. At Kroger last week, the cashier told me I smelled like a marshmallow – that made me laugh, I mean, there are worse things I could smell like, right?!
  • Pillow – think for a minute how long we are in bed each day – at least 6 hours, hopefully more. Now think about your pillow. Do you like it ? How old is it – if you say 30 years old, I will gag. We should all have a clean, supportive pillow that gives us a soft place to lay our heads each night and sleep away the weariness of our days. There are so many great options out there right now – some more expensive then others, but well worth it in my eyes. I have a memory foam pillow that I literally think about during the days and sometimes count the hours until we meet again (thank you, perimenopause!). Going to sleep should bring you a sense of peace and an amazing pillow might help!

Ok friends – please do me a favor and give me some of your basic, affordable ideas that bring you joy. There is never enough joy and calm in the world – I can’t wait to hear YOUR suggestions!

Today is the day!

I gave a lot of thought to choosing my word this year. I knew that the next 12 months would be bringing some major changes to our family dynamics, including two of our daughters getting married almost exactly 4 months apart. As someone with a type A personality, it is very easy for me to get caught up in planning, preparing, changing details, and nailing down specifics. It’s all too common for me to be in a situation or with a friend or loved one and have my mind creating a list of the next errands that need to be done, items that need to be returned, or ingredients that need to be purchased. I don’t want to miss the excitement and joy that we are in the thick of because I am focusing on the things that still need to be done – let’s face it, no matter how far ahead you plan, there will ALWAYS still be things that need to be done. I don’t want to be distracted with what is yet to be, I want to be completely present with the task at hand. I won’t be getting this time back, and if my mind is elsewhere, even the memories of these events will be a bit skewed. God, please help me to focus on TODAY, and celebrate both the magic and the mundane of the next 24 hours!

I also struggle with perhaps filling my days a bit too much. How much can I get done today? How many items can be checked off of my list? I am a big fan of lists and making sure I have a plan for each day or event. As a Mom of four young children, I realized that my productive days wouldn’t look quite the same, as my schedule was no longer my own. I started writing a “Have done list” instead of a “To do list”. This helped me to feel proud of all that I had accomplished each day while still feeding, bathing, napping, diapering and loving on my littles. The pressure was off as I added items to the list AFTER they were completed (*paid a bill *did a load of towels *did my bible study) instead of a looming list of chores and errands calling my name. I was still getting things done, but at my own pace and one that allowed my family to be my priority. There are certainly days that I need to ask myself what would benefit me more, being productive or getting some rest. I need to become more aware of how these busy days and schedules affect my mental state. As much as I love to get things done – I’m also a huge advocate for a nap on the couch with the dog. Balance – it’s all about balance – and what works for me today.

Every day is different, even if we think we know how things are going to play out. Some days seem to last forever, and some are over before you know it. Some days bring a tsunami of emotions and some days are absolutely uneventful and a big 24 hours of B-O-R-I-N-G. I am going to try to take each day as it comes and accept the highs and lows that arrive along with each new sunrise. I will do my best to thank God for every day as I pray each night. One of my favorite quotes is ” Every day may not be good, but there is good in every day”. I’m not going to sugar coat what life throws my way – if it’s a craptastic day, ok then. Tomorrow is a new day. Being able to enjoy each day also requires me to let go of the malarkey that has recently happened – to keep moving forward. God has reminded us in Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own”. Today. We should be focusing on today – and that is my goal in 2025. Praying for your strength as you chase whatever you are running after this year . May we all find a wonderful mix of adventure and peace wrapped up with a sparkly bow of gratitude. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Change…

“Change is the only constant in life” – Heraclitus

I’ll be the first to admit that change has never been my favorite. I love consistency, the familiar. I love to know what is coming so that I can be prepared. I love to know that I’ve handled something successfully before and can (hopefully) do it yet again. But in my almost 29 years of being a wife and over 26 years of parenting, I have found that change is one of the most common parts of life. If our family manages to do something twice in a row without any differences in the experience – call the presses! I have learned to be flexible in my approach and it has definitely benefited all of us. That being said, our family has a lot of changes coming in the next year. Am I ready? Can one ever really be “ready”?!

We have two daughters that will be getting married in 2025 -one in June and one in October. We are having fun planning two very different events and it’s been exciting to say the least. But as we schedule the Bridal Shower and pick out centerpieces for the big day, reality settles in. These two daughters will not be coming “home” for Christmas next year. Yes, they will visit for hours at a time, but they won’t be living at home anymore. This Christmas, for several reasons, was the “last” as we know it, since next year only one of our four children will actually wake up at our house next year on Christmas morning. Santa will only have one stocking to fill, as new spouses will now have that responsibility. We will have to find a new time to open presents together, since the time we have always done this in the past no longer works. We will have to consult the schedules of two more families in addition to the 9 schedules we are currently working around to fit everything in. We will no longer have the entire family at every event. Things are changing and we will need to be open to it. “But, we’ve always done it that way!” must not be uttered. The first few holidays will be a learning experience for sure.

Although it does make me a bit anxious, I am also excited to see the new traditions we will undoubtedly create. They will not be REQUIRED to happen on December 24th or 25th. They can change time and location from year to year. We can have a full meal, or just drinks and desserts. We can exchange with everyone or draw names. We can wear our fanciest holiday clothes or our pajamas. The main idea is that these changes are discussed and agreed upon by the majority. Everyone has an opinion and expectations and it’s necessary to feel heard and understood. No, not everyone will get their way. No, not everyone will be happy with the date chosen or restaurant we are meeting at, or time the event will begin. But we all must understand that the holidays are for being TOGETHER and that means flexibility and possibly having pasta instead of tacos and buying a White Elephant gift instead of exchanging gift cards. Hugging your Mom and drinking a Cranberry Margarita while reminiscing about the time the cats knocked the tree down – now THAT’S CHRISTMAS. I pray that as each holiday arrives we are together, healthy and happy – that’s my wish for my family and yours – even with all of the changes!

What do you want to do when you grow up?

Our youngest of four is in the final stretch of her Senior year in high school. She has a matter of weeks before this chapter of her life is over and is feeling all of the emotions. Her days are filled with school, friends, and tennis, and her evenings are occupied with finishing scholarship applications. She’s answering questions regarding how she has spent these last four years, what accomplishments she has achieved, and what her goals are for the future. These applications and required essays are forcing her to reflect . Honestly, I think it should be a requirement for all of us – every five years or so – just a quick check in with ourselves. This form that she must fill out makes her pause and really look at what fills her time. How much of her energy is spent helping others? What is she doing to move herself closer to her goals, and does she even have clear cut goals?

Once we finish school, we tend to fall into a routine and not change much. OK, occasionally we will try a new restaurant or change laundry detergents, but for the most part we do what we have always done. I don’t think we do it on purpose. I feel like most humans find a rhythm of life and don’t look to change things up. We have a schedule, and it works for us, so why fix what’s not broken? But are we living the life we could be living? Are there things we could add or eliminate that would serve us well, move us forward, or help us grow? Have we accomplished the things that we had considered in our days of youth when we didn’t need 8 hours of sleep and 2 cups of coffee to start our engines? It’s not too late! We can still evaluate our lives and make the changes that we have been contemplating. We can start a new hobby, change our exercise routine, commit to reading more books or meeting up with more friends. We can find an organization that needs volunteers, donate to help a community in need, or write letters to our government officials regarding changes we’d like to see made.

I am energized as I watch my daughter prepare for this new chapter ahead. When her new adventure begins – a new chapter will also begin for us. I am prepared for change and the loud sound of silence in a house that has always been filled with music, conversation and laughter. The schedule we keep will change, the way we cook will change, and I anticipate that next year may be a difficult year as we adapt . But I am ready and willing to make the best of these changes and allow room for the grief process as well as I miss all the birdies who have left our nest. I’m writing my own lists and thinking about what I’d like to do, to change, and to eliminate as this new season of life arrives. So now, as I start to reflect, here’s my question for you… What do YOU want to do when you grow up?