2025 packed quite a punch, both good and bad, and our heads are still spinning a bit. A death in the family, a divorce, 2 weddings, 2 moves, a job change and empty nest. Our immediate and extended family was kept on its’ toes for 12 months straight and we hope to catch our breath in the new year. As the holidays approached this year, I was unsure what to expect, but I knew I wanted it to be special. Whether we were continuing with traditions of old or starting new ones, I prayed that the memory making would continue- and it did!
This year, the changes began in November, when for the first time we did not have all 4 children around the table. As sad as I was about it, my heart was at peace knowing that my daughter was not alone, but instead being loved up by her new family and getting to show off her new digs in Georgia to her in laws. We instead kept track of each other, as we have since her move in August by texts, calls, letters and facetimes. Our encouragement took on different forms but was always there and she knew it. The tears flowed at times, but the excitement grew as well, knowing she would be home in December!
December arrived and we did most of what we have always done – we attended tree lightings, Christkindl markets, the lights at the zoo and this year I also was blessed to attend an Advent Tea at my school. We changed the dates of several events, but they were still special and helped to bring the Fa La La to a month that attempts to race right past us. Our annual Extended family party that has historically been held the week before Christmas (to insure that all of my college kids were home to celebrate) was changed to December 27th so that our Georgia peaches could be in town to enjoy the family as well. This once again proved that it is not the date on the calendar but the people surrounding you that brings the magic.
As different as this season has been- the nostalgia still remained strong. The same chocolate treats were made and devoured on our dessert trays, the same Christmas cactus was praised as she miraculously bloomed for the holiday as if she had a calendar hidden somewhere, and the same songs made me cry on Christmas Eve. I still dreaded the clean up after it was all over, and still want to keep my tree up until February so I can enjoy her soft light in an otherwise dark room. I’m so very grateful for a season of change that was also filled with the joy of old times. I pray that 2026 brings the same type of balance.
Whelp. It’s not often that I am at a loss for words. Ask my husband, he’ll tell you 🙂 But here I am at the first few lines of the newest chapter in our family book, and I’m at a loss.
On Sunday, our youngest child turned 20. No more teenagers, all four of our children are now adults and learning how to independently find their way in the wild, so to speak. In addition to that milestone, our oldest daughter (one of the two that was recently married) came and took the rest of her belongings to her new home that she now shares with her husband. What the WHAT?!?! Did both of those big things truly have to happen on the same day? Her room is so empty. I may have sat in the middle of it and cried – and by “may have”, I mean I definitely did. Too many emotions. Too much quiet. Too much open space. The emotions running amuck I am used to – but the quiet and clean and empty – no. There are now 3 rooms that sit unoccupied at the moment – although the dog and cat have each claimed a space as their own. The beds remain in hopes of an overnight visit – but the rooms remain unused.
It’s pretty easy to spiral and sit with the photo album and reminisce about the smell of a baby fresh out of the tub, the yells on the sideline of a 3rd grader’s soccer game, or the anticipation on Christmas morning while all four waited (not so patiently) as my Hubby and I filled our coffee mugs before digging into the gifts. Happy memories – so why the water works? Would I really want to relive all of those years – they weren’t all pretty or fun. A lot of it was tiring, frustrating and repetitive. I think the sadness comes when I realize that the chapter of raising young ones is over. Done. And yes, that’s sad. I will never have young children again . BUT – I am absolutely loving the adults that we have raised. And it’s perfectly OK to have sadness, hope, grief and joy in your heart all at once. I rarely experience only one emotion at a time, and I’m pretty sure that is normal. As the children have grown, I have written quite a bit about the many highs and lows we as parents experience. Every new experience from entering Kindergarten to leaving for college forces us to accept that our children are going to someday live on their own and call us less frequently. Sigh.
Don’t get me wrong – my Prince and I are truly finding a lot of joy in our new schedule. We stay up late and try to sleep in. We go out to eat more often – happy hour King and Queen to be certain! We take more trips and don’t have to think about childcare while we are away… but we still have the cat and dog, sooooooooooo… And we are busy thinking about how to use the rooms that are currently available – a new office, perhaps, or should we just let the cat have her own room?! We bought a new Christmas tree, because our adult children had the audacity to move out and take the ornaments that we had purchased for them for just such an occasion. Our 12 foot tree would look pretty bare without all of those bulbs and such, so we downsized a bit (only 11 feet this time!) and are excited to have a new focal point this Christmas. All in all, we are taking it all in stride. Figuring it out one holiday at a time.
Our nest may be “empty”, but that simply means we have space for visitors and a less busy schedule to help or socialize if asked. I have been reminded that as a parent, watching our children leave the house and become independent, happy adults is what we are working towards their entire lives. I just wonder why it’s so hard to watch happen if this has always been the end goal? I am content with our new chapter. Still lots to learn and I am sure sadness will sneak in here and there, but I’m ready for it.
I guess I wasn’t at a loss for words after all! I’m sure that no one is surprised!
“Change is the only constant in life” – Heraclitus
I’ll be the first to admit that change has never been my favorite. I love consistency, the familiar. I love to know what is coming so that I can be prepared. I love to know that I’ve handled something successfully before and can (hopefully) do it yet again. But in my almost 29 years of being a wife and over 26 years of parenting, I have found that change is one of the most common parts of life. If our family manages to do something twice in a row without any differences in the experience – call the presses! I have learned to be flexible in my approach and it has definitely benefited all of us. That being said, our family has a lot of changes coming in the next year. Am I ready? Can one ever really be “ready”?!
We have two daughters that will be getting married in 2025 -one in June and one in October. We are having fun planning two very different events and it’s been exciting to say the least. But as we schedule the Bridal Shower and pick out centerpieces for the big day, reality settles in. These two daughters will not be coming “home” for Christmas next year. Yes, they will visit for hours at a time, but they won’t be living at home anymore. This Christmas, for several reasons, was the “last” as we know it, since next year only one of our four children will actually wake up at our house next year on Christmas morning. Santa will only have one stocking to fill, as new spouses will now have that responsibility. We will have to find a new time to open presents together, since the time we have always done this in the past no longer works. We will have to consult the schedules of two more families in addition to the 9 schedules we are currently working around to fit everything in. We will no longer have the entire family at every event. Things are changing and we will need to be open to it. “But, we’ve always done it that way!” must not be uttered. The first few holidays will be a learning experience for sure.
Although it does make me a bit anxious, I am also excited to see the new traditions we will undoubtedly create. They will not be REQUIRED to happen on December 24th or 25th. They can change time and location from year to year. We can have a full meal, or just drinks and desserts. We can exchange with everyone or draw names. We can wear our fanciest holiday clothes or our pajamas. The main idea is that these changes are discussed and agreed upon by the majority. Everyone has an opinion and expectations and it’s necessary to feel heard and understood. No, not everyone will get their way. No, not everyone will be happy with the date chosen or restaurant we are meeting at, or time the event will begin. But we all must understand that the holidays are for being TOGETHER and that means flexibility and possibly having pasta instead of tacos and buying a White Elephant gift instead of exchanging gift cards. Hugging your Mom and drinking a Cranberry Margarita while reminiscing about the time the cats knocked the tree down – now THAT’S CHRISTMAS. I pray that as each holiday arrives we are together, healthy and happy – that’s my wish for my family and yours – even with all of the changes!
Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas festivities begin before the turkey is digested (if it hasn’t started before that!). A friend asked me last year for a list of activities that might be fun for her family. I thought I’d share my list with all of you. Remember, it’s not fun if it’s forced, so only choose to do what looks awesome to you and your family. It truly is the MOST wonderful time of the year 🙂
Look at holiday lights together – Walk through your neighborhood or jump in your car and tour around town … have some hot chocolate too (never hurts).
Attend a tree lighting – They are everywhere (library, shopping centers, town halls) the first week of December – usually free and some have carolers and other festive fun included.
Go see a Nutcracker performance – There’s nothing like this play to get you in the spirit- and many local dance schools put this particular show on during December.
Attend a Holiday Concert – Ask your local elementary, Jr. High or High School about the date of their shows – nothing better (and free!).
Kristkringl Markets – A German tradition that is becoming popular here (finally!). Outdoor markets that offer food, crafts and other merchandise for sale and often have lights and firepits and all kinds of fa, la, la related activities.
Frankenmuth – Take a short road trip up north and visit the cutest German inspired town – and don’t forget to go to Bronner’s – the biggest Christmas shop around, Zender’s, the yummiest restaurant in town, and all the cutesy shops in town.
Cookie decorating – Go old school and bake up a bunch of sugar cookies and prepare to be cleaning up sprinkles and frosting for an hour after the event (but it’s ALWAYS worth it!).
Visit the Christmas Story House in Cleveland – Time for another road trip – and you will LOVE the opportunity to tour the house and museum of the infamous movie. Pictures we took while there – Steve under the sink where Randy used to hide, and me on the phone calling about the bad word that Ralphie just said
Ornament making – choose a simple design from the TRILLION available on Pinterest and order supplies from Amazon and either have friends over or beg your family to stick around and join you for some hot gluing fun (add food and drinks for good measure!).
Visit a tree farm – Even if you have a fake tree at home, tree farms are awesome to visit. They often have fun weekends planned that include sleigh rides and pictures with Santa, too!
Movie marathon – Block off an entire day in December, ask each family member their favorite holiday movie and get ready to partake in some couch potato heaven as you watch EVERY SINGLE. MOVIE. Pjs are required and friends can be invited as well, (and provide food – lots and lots of food!).
Baking Day – Choose a few desserts (fudge, cookies, candies) and spend the day in the kitchen together creating trays or boxes or baggies of sweets for loved ones on your list!
Tree decorating party – What might seem like a chore when you have so many other things begging for your attention can be turned into fun if you have a bunch of friends/family included and have everyone bring a snack to share. It’s awesome to reminisce over the ornaments and share their meanings while getting this task done – you’ll have a blast!
Ice skating – Many towns are now offering seasonal outdoor ice skating. They have lights hung up and pump in music, and you forget how much pain you’ll be in tomorrow as you inch your way around the rink laughing and swearing you’ll never do this again … unless you actually are good at it – then do some tricks for everyone and enjoy the applause!
Create a hot chocolate bar – throw together a basket of some hot chocolate packets and make sure to have some marshmallows, peppermint sticks, sprinkles and spray whip in the fridge – we aren’t amateurs, here….
Tour the Manor House – Enjoy the decorations that change every year in this beautiful historical home- and it’s free!
Go to the Lights at the Zoo – Grab your Zoo Membership or take out a small loan before heading to our amazing zoo for their lights display. They have an awesome tree lighting ceremony in November and the weather is typically pretty mild – a great way to begin your holiday season!
Live Nativity Scenes – Many churches offer these and it’s a neat reminder about what this season is all about
Gingerbread house decorating – Grab a pre-made one for goodness sakes, and have fun decorating it – make it more fun for teens and their friends by making it a contest with prizes for the craziest, most colorful, etc… house.
Attend craft shows – Support some local crafters and hit those craft shows that start popping up in November – shop local and cross people off of your gift list – win/win!
MIS drive through light experience – Stay in your car and drive through this awesome display of lights – a fun alternative to driving around your own neighborhood!
Bedford Blizzardfest – Enjoy some festive fun sponsored by our local businesses – I hope they can continue this awesome event!
Holiday parades – Most towns offer a holiday parade that is fun and free and a great way to get outside and enjoy the start of the season.
Host a Wrap & Write – I started a tradition years ago that my friends would all come over and bring their gifts and a dish to pass, and we would wrap gifts together all night (lots of laughter and drinks included). We all got to catch up and see what we bought for our kids, husbands, etc…. It’s beyond fun and everyone leaves feeling so accomplished and happy! Some friends would bring their Christmas cards to address or a holiday craft they were working on – it was the best; I haven’t done it in years – may have to start it back up!
Make holiday shrinky dinks – Yes – they are still a thing! Check out Amazon (of course!) and enjoy a night of old school fun creating and baking those amazing plastic do dads!
Visit Castle Noel – Another road trip, this one to Medina, Ohio. I haven’t been yet- but it’s on my list – find them on Facebook – listed as “America’s largest year-round indoor Christmas Entertainment Attraction” (Reservations required). Yes, please!
Name that tune – Christmas Version – Free and fun and something you can do with little to no preparation. Grab your phone and everyone chooses a list of 10 holiday songs, create a playlist and see how fast you can recognize them. ***Bonus points… who sings it?!***
Polar express – Local train stations are now “hosting” the Polar Express train as it stops in towns across the country. I have not done this yet either, but I think it would be fun with children to see it arrive all lit up – and of course there are options to ride it as well
Tobaggon Run at Pokagon State Park – Head to Indiana and enjoy their toboggan run. We haven’t gone yet but it sounds like a super fun outdoor winter activity!
Caroling – Feeling brave? Grab a group of people, print out a few Christmas songs, and head out to bring some (off-key?) holiday cheer to your neighbor’s doorstep!
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