“Change is the only constant in life” – Heraclitus
I’ll be the first to admit that change has never been my favorite. I love consistency, the familiar. I love to know what is coming so that I can be prepared. I love to know that I’ve handled something successfully before and can (hopefully) do it yet again. But in my almost 29 years of being a wife and over 26 years of parenting, I have found that change is one of the most common parts of life. If our family manages to do something twice in a row without any differences in the experience – call the presses! I have learned to be flexible in my approach and it has definitely benefited all of us. That being said, our family has a lot of changes coming in the next year. Am I ready? Can one ever really be “ready”?!
We have two daughters that will be getting married in 2025 -one in June and one in October. We are having fun planning two very different events and it’s been exciting to say the least. But as we schedule the Bridal Shower and pick out centerpieces for the big day, reality settles in. These two daughters will not be coming “home” for Christmas next year. Yes, they will visit for hours at a time, but they won’t be living at home anymore. This Christmas, for several reasons, was the “last” as we know it, since next year only one of our four children will actually wake up at our house next year on Christmas morning. Santa will only have one stocking to fill, as new spouses will now have that responsibility. We will have to find a new time to open presents together, since the time we have always done this in the past no longer works. We will have to consult the schedules of two more families in addition to the 9 schedules we are currently working around to fit everything in. We will no longer have the entire family at every event. Things are changing and we will need to be open to it. “But, we’ve always done it that way!” must not be uttered. The first few holidays will be a learning experience for sure.
Although it does make me a bit anxious, I am also excited to see the new traditions we will undoubtedly create. They will not be REQUIRED to happen on December 24th or 25th. They can change time and location from year to year. We can have a full meal, or just drinks and desserts. We can exchange with everyone or draw names. We can wear our fanciest holiday clothes or our pajamas. The main idea is that these changes are discussed and agreed upon by the majority. Everyone has an opinion and expectations and it’s necessary to feel heard and understood. No, not everyone will get their way. No, not everyone will be happy with the date chosen or restaurant we are meeting at, or time the event will begin. But we all must understand that the holidays are for being TOGETHER and that means flexibility and possibly having pasta instead of tacos and buying a White Elephant gift instead of exchanging gift cards. Hugging your Mom and drinking a Cranberry Margarita while reminiscing about the time the cats knocked the tree down – now THAT’S CHRISTMAS. I pray that as each holiday arrives we are together, healthy and happy – that’s my wish for my family and yours – even with all of the changes!
Thanksgiving is next week and Christmas festivities begin before the turkey is digested (if it hasn’t started before that!). A friend asked me last year for a list of activities that might be fun for her family. I thought I’d share my list with all of you. Remember, it’s not fun if it’s forced, so only choose to do what looks awesome to you and your family. It truly is the MOST wonderful time of the year 🙂
Look at holiday lights together – Walk through your neighborhood or jump in your car and tour around town … have some hot chocolate too (never hurts).
Attend a tree lighting – They are everywhere (library, shopping centers, town halls) the first week of December – usually free and some have carolers and other festive fun included.
Go see a Nutcracker performance – There’s nothing like this play to get you in the spirit- and many local dance schools put this particular show on during December.
Attend a Holiday Concert – Ask your local elementary, Jr. High or High School about the date of their shows – nothing better (and free!).
Kristkringl Markets – A German tradition that is becoming popular here (finally!). Outdoor markets that offer food, crafts and other merchandise for sale and often have lights and firepits and all kinds of fa, la, la related activities.
Frankenmuth – Take a short road trip up north and visit the cutest German inspired town – and don’t forget to go to Bronner’s – the biggest Christmas shop around, Zender’s, the yummiest restaurant in town, and all the cutesy shops in town.
Cookie decorating – Go old school and bake up a bunch of sugar cookies and prepare to be cleaning up sprinkles and frosting for an hour after the event (but it’s ALWAYS worth it!).
Visit the Christmas Story House in Cleveland – Time for another road trip – and you will LOVE the opportunity to tour the house and museum of the infamous movie. Pictures we took while there – Steve under the sink where Randy used to hide, and me on the phone calling about the bad word that Ralphie just said
Ornament making – choose a simple design from the TRILLION available on Pinterest and order supplies from Amazon and either have friends over or beg your family to stick around and join you for some hot gluing fun (add food and drinks for good measure!).
Visit a tree farm – Even if you have a fake tree at home, tree farms are awesome to visit. They often have fun weekends planned that include sleigh rides and pictures with Santa, too!
Movie marathon – Block off an entire day in December, ask each family member their favorite holiday movie and get ready to partake in some couch potato heaven as you watch EVERY SINGLE. MOVIE. Pjs are required and friends can be invited as well, (and provide food – lots and lots of food!).
Baking Day – Choose a few desserts (fudge, cookies, candies) and spend the day in the kitchen together creating trays or boxes or baggies of sweets for loved ones on your list!
Tree decorating party – What might seem like a chore when you have so many other things begging for your attention can be turned into fun if you have a bunch of friends/family included and have everyone bring a snack to share. It’s awesome to reminisce over the ornaments and share their meanings while getting this task done – you’ll have a blast!
Ice skating – Many towns are now offering seasonal outdoor ice skating. They have lights hung up and pump in music, and you forget how much pain you’ll be in tomorrow as you inch your way around the rink laughing and swearing you’ll never do this again … unless you actually are good at it – then do some tricks for everyone and enjoy the applause!
Create a hot chocolate bar – throw together a basket of some hot chocolate packets and make sure to have some marshmallows, peppermint sticks, sprinkles and spray whip in the fridge – we aren’t amateurs, here….
Tour the Manor House – Enjoy the decorations that change every year in this beautiful historical home- and it’s free!
Go to the Lights at the Zoo – Grab your Zoo Membership or take out a small loan before heading to our amazing zoo for their lights display. They have an awesome tree lighting ceremony in November and the weather is typically pretty mild – a great way to begin your holiday season!
Live Nativity Scenes – Many churches offer these and it’s a neat reminder about what this season is all about
Gingerbread house decorating – Grab a pre-made one for goodness sakes, and have fun decorating it – make it more fun for teens and their friends by making it a contest with prizes for the craziest, most colorful, etc… house.
Attend craft shows – Support some local crafters and hit those craft shows that start popping up in November – shop local and cross people off of your gift list – win/win!
MIS drive through light experience – Stay in your car and drive through this awesome display of lights – a fun alternative to driving around your own neighborhood!
Bedford Blizzardfest – Enjoy some festive fun sponsored by our local businesses – I hope they can continue this awesome event!
Holiday parades – Most towns offer a holiday parade that is fun and free and a great way to get outside and enjoy the start of the season.
Host a Wrap & Write – I started a tradition years ago that my friends would all come over and bring their gifts and a dish to pass, and we would wrap gifts together all night (lots of laughter and drinks included). We all got to catch up and see what we bought for our kids, husbands, etc…. It’s beyond fun and everyone leaves feeling so accomplished and happy! Some friends would bring their Christmas cards to address or a holiday craft they were working on – it was the best; I haven’t done it in years – may have to start it back up!
Make holiday shrinky dinks – Yes – they are still a thing! Check out Amazon (of course!) and enjoy a night of old school fun creating and baking those amazing plastic do dads!
Visit Castle Noel – Another road trip, this one to Medina, Ohio. I haven’t been yet- but it’s on my list – find them on Facebook – listed as “America’s largest year-round indoor Christmas Entertainment Attraction” (Reservations required). Yes, please!
Name that tune – Christmas Version – Free and fun and something you can do with little to no preparation. Grab your phone and everyone chooses a list of 10 holiday songs, create a playlist and see how fast you can recognize them. ***Bonus points… who sings it?!***
Polar express – Local train stations are now “hosting” the Polar Express train as it stops in towns across the country. I have not done this yet either, but I think it would be fun with children to see it arrive all lit up – and of course there are options to ride it as well
Tobaggon Run at Pokagon State Park – Head to Indiana and enjoy their toboggan run. We haven’t gone yet but it sounds like a super fun outdoor winter activity!
Caroling – Feeling brave? Grab a group of people, print out a few Christmas songs, and head out to bring some (off-key?) holiday cheer to your neighbor’s doorstep!
We are closing another chapter in our family book in a few months. We recently celebrated the graduation of our youngest child. Over 20 years in the same school district (whew!). A party was in order, and we hosted well over 100 people on a 92 degree day. We had picture boards, a slushie machine, food to feed an army and lots and lots of cold water available. For all 4 children, I created a memory clothesline. Through the years, I set aside shirts or outfits that were favorites of the child, or something that was just iconic. After collecting the clothes, I would look through my scrapbook albums and pull a picture with them wearing the outfit. For child #4 I actually found all of the pictures this past winter on one of my snow days. I knew how busy it got before each party – so I knew getting it out of the way would be quite helpful. Preparing for a graduation party forces you to travel the road of Kindergarten through Senior year as pictures and mementos are prepared to be displayed. I also hang up every portrait from year one to eighteen and scrapbook pages from the first day of school young fives until Senior year. Now that’s a lot of memories to process – and with child #4 it about broke me.
As the children have grown, I have often struggled with looking back and wishing things were different. Maybe I wish I had handled a situation better, changed my reaction to a problem or just simply wanting the chance to be with my children at a younger age again. Who doesn’t miss the scent of a newborn, the sound of a squeaky toddler’s voice or the feel of a squishy child’s hug? I look at pictures of my four when they were all in elementary school or younger and remember the days when we only did what I planned and it was so very different than the hectic high school days of friends, sports, volunteering and jobs. I have to remind myself that each chapter definitely had its’ ups and downs and that it’s easy to romanticize an age once we are through it. I absolutely love looking through my scrapbooks and remembering all of the years of memories that our family has created. I suggest taking as many pictures as possible. You will never regret being able to revisit an event from the past – pictures transport you immediately back to the event – what a treasure.
Moving forward, as we now begin to cross off needed items for our daughter’s dorm room, we are eagerly anticipating memories yet to be made. What does the next five years have in store for our family? Our house will be quieter as the nest has emptied. Our time together will no longer be daily , but more scheduled. Our relationships will need to be more intentional. I know it may be a difficult year, as change is often uncomfortable, but I also know that we will find many positives in this new chapter we are beginning. Cheers to the future, and all of the joy it will bring!
Our youngest of four is in the final stretch of her Senior year in high school. She has a matter of weeks before this chapter of her life is over and is feeling all of the emotions. Her days are filled with school, friends, and tennis, and her evenings are occupied with finishing scholarship applications. She’s answering questions regarding how she has spent these last four years, what accomplishments she has achieved, and what her goals are for the future. These applications and required essays are forcing her to reflect . Honestly, I think it should be a requirement for all of us – every five years or so – just a quick check in with ourselves. This form that she must fill out makes her pause and really look at what fills her time. How much of her energy is spent helping others? What is she doing to move herself closer to her goals, and does she even have clear cut goals?
Once we finish school, we tend to fall into a routine and not change much. OK, occasionally we will try a new restaurant or change laundry detergents, but for the most part we do what we have always done. I don’t think we do it on purpose. I feel like most humans find a rhythm of life and don’t look to change things up. We have a schedule, and it works for us, so why fix what’s not broken? But are we living the life we could be living? Are there things we could add or eliminate that would serve us well, move us forward, or help us grow? Have we accomplished the things that we had considered in our days of youth when we didn’t need 8 hours of sleep and 2 cups of coffee to start our engines? It’s not too late! We can still evaluate our lives and make the changes that we have been contemplating. We can start a new hobby, change our exercise routine, commit to reading more books or meeting up with more friends. We can find an organization that needs volunteers, donate to help a community in need, or write letters to our government officials regarding changes we’d like to see made.
I am energized as I watch my daughter prepare for this new chapter ahead. When her new adventure begins – a new chapter will also begin for us. I am prepared for change and the loud sound of silence in a house that has always been filled with music, conversation and laughter. The schedule we keep will change, the way we cook will change, and I anticipate that next year may be a difficult year as we adapt . But I am ready and willing to make the best of these changes and allow room for the grief process as well as I miss all the birdies who have left our nest. I’m writing my own lists and thinking about what I’d like to do, to change, and to eliminate as this new season of life arrives. So now, as I start to reflect, here’s my question for you… What do YOU want to do when you grow up?
It’s true that money can’t buy happiness, but it is necessary when making a purchase! I have always loved the act of gift giving – it’s fun for me. Thinking ahead of the event that calls for something special, and then matching likes, interests, hobbies or memories with the person that will be receiving the gift. It’s a bit like putting a puzzle together and finding the last piece is a perfect fit. Making someone happy is my favorite and gift giving is the perfect way to bring a smile. I am also a big fan of keeping to a budget, so it makes the whole thing a bit more of a challenge, thus more exhilarating when the “perfect” gift is found. I am beyond thrilled that my children have “inherited” the joy of gift giving. Watching them buy or create for each other on birthdays and holidays is the absolute best, and I love when they pull me into their plans ahead of time allowing me to see the entire idea unfold. As our children have grown into young adults, the gifts have become more thoughtful and unique with each special occasion. Last year at Christmas, for example, the four of them found a photographer and scheduled a day that they would all be home together (a gift in itself!) so that we could have family portraits done. Just the thought of it was amazing to me and the memories we made at the photo shoot are just as special to me as the pictures we received. I will treasure both the memories and photographs forever. For my birthday this year, my son got me something along the same lines that is now one of my favorite things!
Years ago, we had a digital picture frame that we could stick my sd card in from my camera and would allow us to enjoy a picture slideshow of sorts. It was about the size of your average 5×7 picture frame, and we all loved being able to see various pictures change out as we passed it throughout the day. Time passed and technology changed and now there are similar digital frames that offer a few more bells and whistles… enter my new gift. I received a picture frame 9 x 16 inches in size (which by the way, seemed way too big at first) that allows anyone you’d like to download an app and send me pictures! Not only do I receive pictures throughout the day from my children that live hours away (priceless!) they can also choose to write comments or give information about each picture which shows up at the bottom left hand side of the screen. On the lower right hand side of the screen, I can choose to have the time and temperature displayed – yes, please. And if all of this isn’t amazing enough, I can opt to have a sweet little “ding” notification when a new picture arrives – are you serious?! Yes! I want to hear the ding – bring on all the dings – it is now my favorite sound in the world and I have the volume turned up as high as it goes. I about break my neck racing down the stairs if I hear that ding, knowing it may be a picture of my grandcat in Cleveland, a beautiful sunset in Grand Rapids, or a picture from my daughter who is in another country on vacation. Such fun, I tell you! Knowing that my family and photography are two of my favorite things, my son was able to present me with a gift that will allow all of us to feel close and connected for years to come.
The idea that “it’s the thought that counts” still rings 100% true. Were you aware of the special occasion? Did you give yourself enough time to purchase a gift that would be heartfelt and meaningful for the receiver? Making someone feel special by giving them a gift that is unique to them is one of the best feelings around. And remember, more money does not mean more special. Years ago, my young daughter decorated a jar and filled it with positive handwritten quotes for me – I still absolutely love it and display it proudly. This past summer, my daughter brought me yarn (because she knows my love for knitting) from a country that she visited while on a mission trip and it is one of my favorite gifts to this day! Give your gift thought and really try to find something that will be treasured. Take the time and effort the next time a gift giving holiday rolls around – it will be greatly appreciated, I promise!
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