traditions

Something old, something new…

At this point in my life, I am happily helping to plan two weddings. They are June 6th and October 4th 2025, fast approaching! To be quite honest, I am not doing much. The girls have fabulous ideas of how to make their BIG days special, unique and memorable. I am more of a sounding board – giving ideas and opinions that may or may not be used – which is fine with me! I am watching the planning and taking part in the details that will add joy and sentimentality into the day. As we get closer to each event, I have seen and realized a few differences since planning my own wedding WAY back in 1996 BP (before Pinterest). The internet and social media have also created quite a beast. Here are a few things I have noticed – the good, bad and the ugly.

*GOOD*

I love that the Bridesmaids dresses and all that is involved with them are more relaxed. No longer is it that the bride tells you exactly what dress you will get and requests that you get heels of a certain height dyed to match (do you REMEMBER how we dyed our heels ?!?!?!?). Now, it is much more freestyle. Often, the bride will select a color from a certain dress maker and ask all the Bridesmaids to choose the style that they are most comfortable in, that fits them most comfortably and showcases their body the best. It is also common that the dresses are the same style, but different colors, all blending beautifully. Heck – patterns are even a thing, now – how cool is it? FREEDOM!

Flower preservation! It’s the coolest thing, you guys! These brides are having amazing creations made from their bouquets… wall hangings, serving trays, coasters, jewelry and more! I would have done this in a heartbeat and am so excited for my girls to be able to keep such a special part of their wedding day and be able to enjoy it forever!

The Grand Exit… OK. So fun! The ideas are endless – but include special outfits, music, sparklers, bubbles, photos and more. Leaving to begin your new life together DESERVES a special moment and you can make it as grand or minimal as you’d like. Just one more memory of the day two became one. And a tad more fun then staying and helping to clean up and load the vans with all the hoopla!

Pinterest CAN be your friend. Everything in moderation, that’s the key. As a teacher, Pinterest can be my bestie or the cool girl that has it all. When considering weddings and every single decision that has to be made – social media can jump the fine line of friend or foe in a matter of 5 minutes of scrolling. Finding new and creative ideas is a plus, but determining how much is too much can be stressful… and it’s usually your budget that will make the final decision.

Wedding websites- I would have been all over this as a Bride to Be! You can create them to match your wedding colors and themes, give the background on how you and your future spouse met and what you hope the future will hold, introduce your bridal party, allow guests to RSVP on line (remember having to MAIL YOUR RSVP?!?!) take dance song requests for the reception and SO. MUCH. MORE. It’s an awesome way to communicate details and get everyone excited for the wedding day – color me green!

*THE BAD/UGLY*

Sh!t is expensive these days. Seriously. Even from 3 years ago – the cost increase has been incredible and it’s truly unfortunate how it effects every single aspect of the event. Put your budget following hats on – and get ready – it can be done!!!

Just because we are related… making a guest list is super tricky. Trying to remain at or below a specific number of attendees is actually painful. Should they have a plus one? Have you talked to this cousin in the last 2 years? Do you even have this person’s cell number – if not, how close are you really?! Many people will take offense if not invited – these are typically people that have not planned a wedding in the past. We are doing our absolute best to be respectful while filling the seats with people that are invested and supportive in the lives of the future Bride and Groom. It’s a hot button for sure.

In my mind, this is a plus, but many see the lack of traditional aspects at a reception as a negative. Fewer speeches, no bouquet or garter toss, etc. I love the fact that each event is so unique to each couple nowadays. If a tradition doesn’t hold special meaning to you – don’t include it. Fill your day with what will bring you joy – even if Grandma might be miffed (she’ll get over it). One of my least favorite sentences is “But we’ve always done it that way.” Just because things have been done a certain way in the past doesn’t mean you have to continue down that path – tweak it and make it your own – or eliminate it!

All in all, planning a wedding isn’t for the weak. I’m grateful that i’m just their biggest cheerleader and there for a hug when they hit the wall. Nothing is ever easy – but I know these weddings will be unforgettable and I am blessed to be a part of them, for better or for worse!

Traditions…

The month of November has always been a favorite of mine. Thanksgiving is my second favorite holiday and as an adult, the month became even more amazing as we welcomed two of our four babies home, one on the 6th and one on the 16th! My love language is words of affirmation, so gratitude has always been on the top of my list of importance. My Mom set the precedent by making sure we wrote thank you notes for any and all gifts we received as children. I have done the same with my own children and have been so saddened to see that writing thank you notes (for many – not all) is becoming a lost art. Showing gratitude is so very important to me, as I understand with my whole heart the value in being thanked for an item, your time, or your involvement in a situation. I have yet to meet a person that would not appreciate being acknowledged, seen and known for what they have done. Not to say that being thanked should be the reason for doing a good deed, but it surely can bring a smile. November is a monthly reminder for me to send a quick text, or card to mention my thankfulness.

Traditions are big in our house. They help to keep our family close, create memories, and build excitement for each holiday. Knowing what to expect brings security and if it’s a fun thing we are expecting, well, you know, even better! Each Thanksgiving, our extended family meets at my sister’s for breakfast. We all arrive around 9:30 AM, pour some coffee and begin our holiday together. When the kids were little, the tv would be on and we’d watch the parade and scream with delight when they saw the Clifford balloon, or Hello Kitty made an appearance . My Mom started the tradition when they were babies of getting each of them a book on Thanksgiving. As they grew, they were even able to request a certain title and were always thrilled to receive it that morning – several years those chapter books were started before we even left Aunt Tonya’s house! The picture books they received as tiny turkeys were all kept together and brought out every year and read during the months of November . Most of the books were written about the topics of the season of Fall, the idea of thankfulness or the holiday of Thanksgiving. I now read many of those books to my preschool class each November and they are still big hits! I look forward to continuing this tradition once my children have children of their own.

After breakfast, we typically head home to digest and take a nap or watch our first holiday movie of the season. Later in the day, we would head to my In laws for more food and family time. At this point, we are now gathering at my Sister in Laws and it’s different but just as wonderful. That’s an important thing to remember about traditions, quite often they don’t last forever. Sometimes it’s simply impossible to continue them (a restaurant closes or part of the family moves 3 states away). Often, the interests of the group change as they age and it is just not fun or eagerly anticipated any longer. Perhaps an event is too expensive to attend at this point. There are many reasons why plans could change after being set for years and years. And that’s OK. One of the worst parts of having a tradition is not realizing that it’s time for it to end. The coolest part – you can find something new to do together instead!

The day after Thanksgiving is also a special time for our family. This basically marks the start of the Christmas season for us. When the children were younger, they would go to my Mom’s house that Friday and help her decorate, bringing up the boxes from the basement, setting up her nativity scene and making a batch of cookies. My current college age children continue to stop by and make sure that she doesn’t need help on this day. After decorating/shopping/visiting friends all day, we head to our local zoo for their annual amazing lights display. Being November, we never know what the weather will bring. We have walked through the zoo enjoying 60 degree conditions and raced through in the rain. The years that it has snowed during our visits always made us extra happy! We then finish the night with a delicious dinner at Spaghetti Wharehouse.

As the children have aged and now have significant others who also have family traditions, it has become increasingly difficult to keep a few of our traditions going – and again, it’s OK. If we want something to continue, we will find a way by changing the time, day or location. But discussions are already happening that have suggested new ideas for us to consider. In the end, I am blessed to have family that understand the importance of time together and the joy it brings my heart.

Blessings to you and your family as you acknowledge the joy and love in your life today and everyday!

My turkeys, many years ago ❤️🦃‼️