I have done my very best to avoid writing this post. My closets have been organized, books have been read, laundry has been done.  I can’t wait any longer – it’s time to share with you what has been weighing so very heavy on my heart. This chapter is one that I sincerely wish could have been avoided. But it has become part of my story, and I must embrace it and find a way to move forward. I appreciate your willingness to walk this crazy road with me. There is no way that I would continue down this path alone. 

If you have been following over the past year, you are aware that I was very excited to announce my second children’s book. The release date was set for February 7th, 2017. Yes, just days away. Instead of excitement for this day, I am now dreading it. This time around, the publishing experience has been drastically different. Miscommunication, confusion, missed dead lines and conflicting information were only part of what made me continually shake my head over the last 6 months. Publishing my first book in 2013/2014 was relatively simple. Other than my “newbie jitters”, I followed the directions given to me and was very pleased with the support that I received. There was absolutely no indication that anything would be different the second time around. I actually thought it may be a bit easier, since I knew the schedule and what was expected from me during the progress. But life has a way of knocking you back when you least expect it. People get greedy and their choices and actions have an enormous impact on others. I am learning HUGE LESSONS in trust and patience and flexibility through all of this – but that doesn’t stop me from being angry and sad. That being said, I absolutely refuse to go through this mess and not come out stronger on the other side.

After all of the delays and malarkey this time around, I discovered that my publishing company has closed as of January 17, 2017. Yes. CLOSED.  The  authors have not even been officially notified as of yet. I found this out after some extensive online research and articles written in a few Oklahoma newspapers. LONG STORY short, they were not paying their bills. They were not paying the salaries of their employees. They were not sending royalty checks to their authors.  They now have lawsuits against them for over 4 million dollars. They have not responded to calls or emails since before Christmas. On the 18th, we (the authors) received an email that the company was in “transition” and we would be contacted within a few weeks with “options concerning the completion of our projects”. There are a million questions still left to be answered.  At this point, I have filed complaints with several agencies and with Discover in attempts to recoup the money paid for the books I ordered – and was charged for – but will never receive. There are discrepancies regarding what rights I have to my own books – I have a copyright on the words, they may own the cover design and illustrations. I need to be given back my completed files in order to find another company to publish for me – which can be a lengthy and tedious process in itself. 

To say that I am overwhelmed doesn’t begin to describe my emotions.  I am sad, angry, embarrassed, frustrated and disgusted that all the effort I have invested in the last 3 years has been swept away. As I await more news, please pray that I can find the time, energy, strength and motivation to continue this process. Back at square one is not at all where I had imagined I’d be at this point. My book is complete – perfect in every way – but I may never have the chance to hold it in my hands. I truly love to write ~ and this will continue. But there is not a lot else that I am sure about at this point. I have about a hundred copies of my first book in my possession,  so I will be able to do a few more book events, but once they are gone – I don’t know. I just don’t know.  I am hoping by the end of February to have some sort of update so I can determine which direction I will take my first steps. I am tired of being disappointed. I have already started talking to other publishing companies. As of now, I am leaning towards self publishing or going with a much smaller publisher ~ once bitten, twice shy.  I know it feels like a break up and you want to bash my “EX” – and please know that they are at the top of my list of least favorite people as well. But please – if you see me,  simply hug me and remind me that the glass is always half full {refillable, in fact!}.  Please pray  for me – this news is a major mountain that I must climb – and I am already exhausted. I am blessed to have an amazing group of supporters that I thank God for every night. I know He has great plans for me. I will do my best to not fear the future – as I know that God is already there.