Trouble with the tongue

regretSarcasm. Quick to respond. Eye rolling. All before 8 AM (and this is me that I’m talking about!). One might believe that since I live with 2 teenagers, a pre teen and an elementary cutie, the blame would easily fall on their shoulders. But, I feel deep down, that the smart mouth starts here – pointing at myself. I hate to say it – on most days I’d deny it – but today I am willing to guess that a few (or more) loud discussions are started by this little hot head right here.

I do my best to be the responsible adult that I am called to be. To respond in the way that I’d like to see my children respond. To not act like a lunatic when I’m dying to speak the words that I am screaming in my head. But, I’m human. And I’m tired, frustrated, grumpy, late, disappointed – insert a hundred other attributes that are really no excuse at all. Pinterest reminded me the other day that “Your mood should not dictate your manners”. Thanks, Pinterest. I later posted this on my facebook page, because I am helpful like that. In  reality, I was curious if my online friends also dealt with moments of madness that allowed for them to speak words that they would later regret.

Turns out, I was not alone. It was a bit sad knowing that others out there also had issues controlling their tongues. On the other hand, it also made me feel less isolated and more hopeful ~ strength in numbers, right?! I am working on it . I’m trying new things and old ideas – taking a breath before I respond, thinking before I speak (a novel idea). Considering the view-point of the other person before I forge ahead with my own retort. Remembering that I am the adult is crucial, and I know that it will be well worth my efforts in the end.

Looking for scripture on this topic has also been helpful – it turns out that this issue has been around for quite some time! Proverbs 31:26 (NIV translation) states “She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue”. No mention of eye rolling or loud voices. Interesting. Also – Ephesians 4:29 (NIV translation) reads , “Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their need”. In other words, I need to try my hand at finding the best in each situation. Encouraging others and not saying everything that comes to mind in the heat of the moment.

Continuing to work on what comes out of my mouth is going to  be a life long focus for me. It will pay off when I see my children experiencing healthy relationships instead of the daily drama that bad tempers bring. Being a  good communicator is important to me. I want to raise children that can effectively express themselves. I want less shouting and hurt feelings. I want peace – and chocolate,  if we are being completely honest here. Keeping this as a goal in our house will helpfully make an impression on the kiddos and help their Mama be less of a spaz. Wish us luck!


2 thoughts on “Trouble with the tongue

  1. Amy says:

    You think we’d be through this by now, as much as we’ve talked about it, sought the Bible, prayed and just listened to each other concerning this very thing… This is the thorn in our side. Baby steps,right? Thanks for being honest! I will continue to lift you up in this area if you continue to do the same for me (and even if you don’t!). I love you, friend!


  2. Christie Burnett says:

    words are powerful & how we present them to the world defines our character. I am always reminded of this quote by Ghandi:

    Your beliefs become your thoughts,
    Your thoughts become your words,
    Your words become your actions,
    Your actions become your habits,
    Your habits become your values,
    Your values become your destiny.

    I tend to see this hanging in elementary schools I go onto, but also a great reminder for us mommas, especially ones that are teaching the next generation.


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